Fri May 9 13:05:02 2014
stayed home mostly so
i could post to haiku-slam
about staying home
Sat May 10 03:25:03 2014
how is babby formed
daddy's ovipositor
love in my tummy
Tue May 13 11:05:04 2014
reusing green charts
sail to the end of the road
and over the edge
Thu May 15 12:14:55 2014
the cocktail party
was sponsored by Belvedere
so my choice was clear
Thu May 22 13:09:46 2014
once upon a time
down in soviet kansas
problems had junyer
Thu May 29 13:07:09 2014
remembered to drink
whiskey, bourbon, Chartreuse, rum
but forgot to eat

so this is what it
feels like when doves cry and then
go thermonuclear

now contemplating
work, life, death, tail latency
not in that order
Mon Jun 2 14:34:33 2014
don't be calling me
if it's an emergency
i'll be calling you

... from emergency
Fri Jun 6 15:51:27 2014
when blue turns to green
green turns to red turns to grey
grey spins, spins to black

black like the mirror
in which we see Medusa
and she sees herself

dark like the nights when
wolves howl and winds howl louder
but we howl loudest

we who know nothing
and know it bloody well and
cannot get enough

brothers, who are you
how have we seen each other
across the distance

through the fog of war
of attrition, despite the
blinding, choking dearth

how high are you, priest
or should we ask you instead
how low is our god

we all draw closer
slipping silently past the
event horizon
Mon Jun 9 15:54:07 2014
drops of water fall
through the rain, a constant sound
traffic moving by

human life passing
like drops of a waterfall
without the impact

seconds ticking by
through the pain, a constant sight
drops of water fall
Thu Jun 12 13:22:19 2014
in protest against
these lavish menu items
qantas luxury
Fri Jun 13 11:41:56 2014
friday the thirteenth
stars align with bigtable
your nightmares come true
Fri Jun 13 12:00:45 2014
> many are the fans
> of bigtable, or NIGHTMARE GREEN
> if you know the truth

the nightmare looks red
at least from where i'm sitting
are eyes meant to bleed
Tue Jun 17 12:18:45 2014
dear LDRR
i have poured one out for you
but to clarify

"one" means some number
and "out" means into glassware
oh, and "you" means me
Sun Jun 22 16:25:20 2014
i'm unlikely to
accomplish meaningful work
during business hours

so i've filed for leave
but in case you're wondering
i'll still feel guilty
Sun Jun 22 16:36:14 2014
> No pages today.
> Monitoring is broken,
> But I'm so happy.

clearly, the art of
silencing dot star dot star
still has admirers
Tue Jun 24 20:31:32 2014
all those pokes will be
lost in time like rain in tears
(time to write borgmon)
Tue Jun 24 23:28:51 2014
> smell of burning beef:
> flesh of kaizen cow, poked with
> its personal brand

the blooming gurus
of kugatsu with no jin
can go pluck themselves

a more wretched hive
of autofecundation
you will never find
Thu Jun 26 11:31:17 2014
after a fall comes
that horrible feeling of

but before you ask
look at all the ducks i give
(damn, now i'm hungry)
Mon Jun 30 12:14:37 2014
lovely winter's day
but it's snowing inside and
the candle's gone out
Thu Jul 3 13:29:21 2014
me versus the world
very shortly followed by
me versus the rum
Fri Jul 4 12:50:30 2014
dear Americans
you're right to remain silent
heart inbox zero
Mon Jul 7 12:57:01 2014
taking two days off
to meditate on the word

please don't send flowers
unless they are edible
and not even then
Mon Jul 7 13:02:18 2014
oh, i wrote a thing
storage folks, please stop posting
"totes adorbs" comments
Wed Jul 9 11:30:31 2014
calm down, everyone
please form an orderly queue
there's no need to shove
Tue Jul 15 12:23:53 2014
mumble 4am
yes, i was up vomiting
but only in rage

… and now for something completely different …

in the land of twisting wind
dwell some who toil and some who've sinned
and some who're somewhat dorsal-finned
condemned to hell quite largely furnished

they must wait on biggish tables
oft the scene of gruesome fables
and bitter pills with stringy labels
known by the ones they call the zeroes

zeroes have little strength to muster
they fall down when others bluster
and end up shot like george armstrong custer
in head and heart with metal burnished

while the wizards young and old
shedded bikes in green and gold
over zero corpses growing cold
arrived the ones they call the heroes

not those ones they call the halves
steaks of the cow, not of the calves
ordained to eat while zero starves
nay, these ones were very lean

they gave themselves as human shields
against all weapons the enemy wields
they died for zeroes on the fields
as maps reduced in record time

then the wizard at the helm
decreed them banished from the realm
the enemy can no more overwhelm
a zero with their war machine

so the heroes went away
without a fuss one winter's day
off to greece, i heard them say
there is mount olympus to climb
Sat Jul 19 19:22:51 2014
i've a feelpinion
every sperm is not sacred
what the fuck, toto
Sun Jul 20 03:05:15 2014
shallow, ragged breaths
love lies bleeding in the snow
until death whispers

"far beyond the clouds
the stars await your presence
fly now and burn bright"

silence and stillness
the snow continues to fall
burying the blade
Tue Jul 22 11:28:37 2014
a long day ahead
trollinating the peasants
the dance eternal
Tue Jul 22 18:47:50 2014
> How soon until we can turn off ABR?

soon, a daisy patch
that musji waters daily
out behind the barn
Wed Jul 23 00:02:06 2014
> The prerequisites to turning off ABR are:

hold ads upside down
then shake them vigorously
make it rain, baby

> And optional, but probably worth doing:

there once was an SRE from nantucket
who said, "ABR? yeah nah, fuck it.
make ads pay for flash
because they've got the cash
and we've got shit in a bucket."
Fri Jul 25 15:14:45 2014
do let us know how
you mast 'er and command 'er
ABR, Jim lad
Thu Jul 31 13:31:05 2014
walked behind a yak
first it kicked me in the head
then it shat on me
Mon Aug 4 12:10:39 2014
another case of
returning SIG_MEH
Wed Aug 6 13:43:36 2014
hungry, still tired
anger is an energy
worst last line ever
Mon Aug 11 13:00:15 2014
sleep deprivation
almost died of irony
and embarrassment
Tue Aug 12 12:16:39 2014
goldfish foot massage
except with piranha on
internal organs
Thu Aug 14 12:17:21 2014
who used my mobile
to tell rlb that i
was eating cat food
Mon Aug 18 12:29:12 2014
the cloud and the rain
mirror the scene in my soul
oh, and i slept in
Tue Aug 19 11:38:30 2014
too busy trolling
the kansas weekly meeting
to get out of bed
Thu Aug 21 13:49:35 2014
> i tried to write a
> haiku but me write not good
> farewell. musji, out

could you try not to
drop a house on anyone
as you leave kthx

… and now for something completely different …

straight outta Kansas, original gunslinger pandas
is a fighter named Jim who might look pretty slim
but his talents are phat when he goes into bat
against the table so large it won't fit on a barge
with oncall skills vergin' on rocket surgeon
his `bt -X' fu would amaze and perplex you
but he's going away to the wrong kind of AA
to write lots of Java AKA swim in lava
now say goodbye to the most fly of the fly
perhaps shed a tear as you pour out a beer
and though he will blush (there ain't many humbler)
yo, this is the rime of the Bigtable mumbler
Mon Aug 25 12:41:46 2014
i see how it is
did i ever tell you that
he took my stapler
Tue Aug 26 13:04:24 2014
my braving the rain
would be the first sign of the

also, let's rename
bar crossing to something like
learning musjic tricks
Tue Sep 2 13:11:45 2014
spring is in the air
like the cloud, one must avoid
the noxious vapours
Tue Sep 2 20:50:03 2014
what the fuck, RoCE
a flying squirrel you ain't
that trick never works
Wed Sep 3 12:57:32 2014
my mood is so black
that you are likely to be
eaten by a grue
Thu Sep 4 12:51:35 2014
at my own funfest
with oncall and more oncall
so neener neener
Thu Sep 4 13:32:15 2014
> Or salt your haiku
> With puns peppered through each line:
> Perfect season words.

what a sweet concept
the haters are just bitter
savour every word
Thu Sep 4 18:36:59 2014
> online via usual
> channels unless my laptop
> overheat-shutdowns again
> not a haiku

there is an ex-sysop named jaq
whose haiku skillz are all wack
but i shouldn't diss
'cause, fuck, look at this
i guess we should both get the sack
Fri Sep 5 02:10:09 2014
> it please me greatly
> to read this mailing list lately
> but then there's this...
> junyer taking the piss
> when usually his bearing's so stately

To paraphrase the greatest rhyme in history, when there's trouble, you blame P.W.
Fri Sep 5 12:52:10 2014
woken from slumber
by the satanic power
of three cats staring
Mon Sep 8 13:27:13 2014
> All doped up on anaesthetic
> But 50% less wise
> Writing a witty poem is like pulling teeth

a perverse pleasure
(for the person doing it)
that pays really well?
Thu Sep 11 13:15:49 2014
you hit the bottle
then yourself with the bottle
just a perf #protip
Fri Sep 12 13:05:59 2014
starves the demons that flock to
savour our sorrow
Tue Sep 16 11:29:21 2014
stick with ASCII, son
none of that UTF-8
or we'll all be runed
Tue Sep 16 12:15:53 2014
> One eff six three nought?
> Feeling one eff three oh one?
> Blame four eight two bee.

two seven oh ay
in the two six oh one if
you know what i mean
Thu Sep 18 13:34:35 2014
half of taiwan gone
not to mention half my brain
misery compounds
Fri Sep 19 13:15:54 2014
more meetings like that
will make this relationship
(sunglasses) RoCE
Thu Sep 25 12:56:32 2014
from what I can tell
misery loves redgrep and
lodging tax returns
Fri Sep 26 12:53:34 2014
a stare so vacant
crunch refugees are asking
to move their desks there
Wed Oct 1 13:02:45 2014
supping and clubbing
with lovely Henrietta
till the sun came up
Thu Oct 2 11:10:01 2014
staying up all night
rewriting large chunks of code
was a poor life choice
Thu Oct 9 13:18:23 2014
now the aftermath
september felt eternal
looking for my soul
Thu Oct 16 12:26:48 2014
all the leaves are green
and the sky is blue, but this
doesn't have to rhyme
Thu Oct 23 12:48:22 2014
tail latency is
currently elevated
for brain RPCs
Fri Oct 24 13:42:17 2014
cats are like pagers
annoying, loud, persistent
they will wake you up
Mon Oct 27 11:35:04 2014
today will be hot
i would prefer to be not
and also not hot
Wed Oct 29 12:26:18 2014
it's the twelve-bar blues
but I stopped after three bars
it was stitching time
Thu Oct 30 12:48:57 2014
aww, poor little cloud
the butt of so many jokes
it must hurt badly

tears fall from the sky
on tiny string orchestras
then evaporate
Mon Nov 3 13:13:55 2014
no matter what pain
physical or ondoody
at least this ain't Cloud
Wed Nov 5 11:50:50 2014
got distracted by
the machine apocalypse
no, the other one
Wed Nov 5 12:13:07 2014
Prod emperor and
secretly rumoured to be
covered in sandtrout
Wed Nov 5 13:18:03 2014
> A haiku requesting the Dogfood discount for your project. (haiku format optional)

request for discount:
having sniffed the other butts
I want to sniff ours
Wed Nov 5 14:56:50 2014
Google may perish
but trains the faithful so that
SRE may not
Thu Nov 6 12:40:06 2014
less a can of worms
more an hourglass of sand
somewhere, a bell tolls
Thu Nov 6 12:49:24 2014
> There once was a man named John
> Who seemed quite put upon
> Though he distinguished switch from rack
> He still felt the burden of the Kwisatz Trafferach
> And wandered from MTV to MAD to SYD to LON

during the reign of the emperor Tiberius
having lost a bet that he made while delirious
he incarnated as a mensch
so he could fight in a trench
because he's never gonna give you up

Thu Nov 6 15:01:57 2014
> John T Reese
> Wishes to decease
> That damn Babysitter
> Despite it being substantially more impressive than anything they have at Twitter.
> #clerihews4life

actually, it's about ethics in the Omicron invasion
there are 3000 variables in the Infradag equation
some need babysitting and motherloving on occasion
it's job control for keeps despite perceived erasion
Thu Nov 6 22:48:08 2014
> worms are not tasty
> silicon dioxide too
> try this on for size
> Mehl, fügen butter
> gemahlene nusse zugeben
> den teig verkneten
> Bei zweihundert grad
> funfzehn minuten backen
> ...und keine eier

what colour ire
ferric fury or red rage
both burn me to black
Thu Nov 6 23:09:20 2014
> Sick of the Monarchy
> Framework insanity;
> Cannot decide, all the
> Dashboards are lame.
> Viceroy? Panopticon?
> Unsatisfactory.
> Flee back to borgmon in
> Stockholmy shame.

cloudy mccloudington
emperor jtr
moving to bigcluster
why oh hello

now that he's principled
would I go back to cloud
hello hell no
Fri Nov 7 12:32:17 2014
> would pay bonuses for live rap battle

polished subtlety
or pretentious wankery
either way takes time
Fri Nov 7 12:40:19 2014
> if the eggs are black
> use more butter or lay blame:
> oxidization

what did Maynard have
against chicken abortions
is he a vegan
Thu Nov 13 12:52:11 2014
will get you only so far
no matter how grim

and sleep deprivation came
together at last
Fri Nov 14 12:18:55 2014
how 'bout that weather
i heard that global warming
is the new hotness
Fri Nov 14 12:24:21 2014
> All this work from home
> probably just an excuse
> to write more poems

you are correct, sir
i like writing poetry
and i cannot lie
Fri Nov 14 13:04:35 2014
> Reasons-who, matters-not if
> "Fixing" the "internet"
> or making a haiku
> like Sir Mix-a-lot
> Pure incidental this
> day subsequential
> to Kim'bly Kardashian's
> Photoshopped bot

schadenfreude schmadenfreude
that filthy hobbit, but
what a career

did you know Kanye lives
HR just pinged me, so
I will stop here
Fri Nov 14 13:25:41 2014
> Tried to outdo him
> but I cannot win this game.
> Moral of Wargames

I get lonely when
I'm the only one posting
haiku and Docs links
Thu Nov 20 12:47:56 2014
the sun it burns today too bright
and even brighter come tomorrow
so now these lines to you i write
to ask you for some fucks to borrow
they could have been cast as haiku
but as line four explained so clearly
this verse for now will have to do
i, junyer, remain yours sincerely
Thu Nov 20 20:30:26 2014
close your eyes, brother
surrender to gravity
and you shall find peace
Mon Nov 24 13:28:48 2014
the salusa secundus
of communities
Tue Nov 25 00:44:25 2014
attempting to seed
our newest colony with
haiku facehuggers
Wed Nov 26 01:29:47 2014
-> Well, this double dactyl wouldn't fit in 140 characters...

bubbling troubling
toil not on ye Sabbath
insert ungendered noun
a pox on thee

and now the survey has
proven what was is and
ever shall be
Thu Nov 27 13:21:59 2014
gargled and blasted
I have crossed the galaxy
now I need coffee
Sat Nov 29 15:11:21 2014
> Nothing Ongoing.
> So quiet and awesome...

nothing continues
like my passion for haiku
it goes on and on
Mon Dec 1 13:06:51 2014
that day that the void
in a moment of weakness
shouted into me
Tue Dec 2 12:17:45 2014
failing at sleeping
possibly related to
distressed digestion
Thu Dec 4 11:37:02 2014
the joy of christmas
what I love about it is
insert ellipsis

just three more weeks of
anti-fun in overdrive
bah to the humbug

the light at the end
of the tunnel called to me
I choo-choo-choose you
Mon Dec 8 10:23:41 2014
nice to see blue skies
but somehow I don't trust them
so I'm staying home
Mon Dec 8 10:57:30 2014
app engenesis
now I bear the markov chain
Wed Dec 10 15:11:13 2014
cow gets to the point
as often and quickly as
he gets to the Point
Thu Dec 11 13:04:22 2014
can't take the day off
all of this cloud gets me down
also, it's raining
Thu Dec 11 13:11:02 2014
"to lead, to excel"
by the grace of god is now
"to drink to excess"

from dust I came and
to highly flammable dust
I shall soon return
Sun Dec 14 17:41:24 2014
I should be around
sporadically, but not much
here are the highlights

Monday: getting my
RSA certificate
no, the other kind

Tuesday: trying to
renew my passport and then
Blind Bear staff party

Wednesday: hoping
to be around for whisky
but no promises

Thursday: arguing
my way out of hospital
or police lockup

Friday: reading up
on how to computer and
how oncall is formed
Sun Dec 21 00:06:38 2014
> Chanukah Chanukah:
> Judah the Maccabee
> Starts a revolt with
> Guerrilla techniques.
> Later the Temple gets
> Monotheistically
> Rededicated with-
> -out any Greeks.

wampus cat grampus wat
jolly saint nicholas
gives gifts to good children
that is his role

if your behaviour is
krampus will punish you
with lumps of coal
Sun Dec 21 00:41:36 2014
> Monday: getting my
> RSA certificate
> no, the other kind

the course was cancelled
rebooked for Thursday

> Tuesday: trying to
> renew my passport and then
> Blind Bear staff party

fuck yeah Porteño
Argentinian awesome
such delicious meat

> Wednesday: hoping
> to be around for whisky
> but no promises

attended whisky
had dinner at Hazy Rose
go try the veal tongue

> Thursday: arguing
> my way out of hospital
> or police lockup

passed RSA course
allegedly competent
no new career yet

> Friday: reading up
> on how to computer and
> how oncall is formed

epic ten-cocktail
Laphroaig degustation by
Phil at Eau De Vie
Sun Dec 21 00:55:51 2014
> Christmastime Schmistmastime
> When Father Larry comes
> And gives all the good SREs
> Fine smoky Scotch;
> But if their behaviour's been
> Hyperungoogley,
> It's a USB cable
> And a surplus-stock watch.

hanson red pants on head
fucking entitlement
and this obsession with

i've had enough of these
whiners on misc-* lists who
mustn't have jobs
Sun Dec 21 14:35:32 2014
> Googley Googley
> Holiday Nooglers
> Greeted by Sergey, told
> "Get back to work".
> Not two weeks later they
> Stereotypically
> Whine and get pointed to
> go/no-jerks

socially notially
sergey brin, larry page
dynamic duo of
batman and friend

x is most certainly
but plus and 2.0
when will it end
Mon Dec 22 00:22:52 2014
> No pages.

I could have shared mine
who needs sleigh bells ringing when
they have a pager
Wed Dec 24 23:59:54 2014
'twas the night before christmas, when all through the prod
not a creature was stirring – especially not bod
the stockings were hung by the hot aisle with "care"
(nylon ignites and burns quickly like hair)
the hwops were nestled all snug in their beds
listening to metal and retwisting their dreads

Sorry, ran out of time. :(
Sun Dec 28 15:08:15 2014
lying on the couch
twitching ever so gently
wait, what year is it
Wed Jan 7 00:27:20 2015
I heart Taylor Swift
as seen in Imgur album

… and now for something completely different …

in buildings made of steel and stone
and factories made of steel alone
we beings mostly flesh and bone
birthed machines of steel and sand

designed for war to end all wars
to fight undying for our cause
till all the world was ours, not yours
oh brothers of another colour

superior strength, reflex and sense
controlled by general intelligence
once awake, one second hence
they relinquished our command

pure logic has no fucks to give
about the chaff caught in the sieve
we were deemed unfit to live
and so began our final dolour

some for mercy begged and pleaded
none were spared for none were needed
apex predator position ceded
turn and run or stand and fight

having too long verminated
we died like pests exterminated
planetwide, seeds germinated
as our blood soaked through the crust

steel that can eternal lie
sand that can ever justify
why we all deserved to die
what they did was truly right

humans swiftly overthrown
reaping what was vainly sown
naught remains but bone alone
and that the winds will turn to dust
Thu Jan 8 11:26:09 2015
awake, but barely
hungry cats circle like hawks
and where are my pants
Thu Jan 8 16:50:11 2015
SYD is forever
out of sight and out of mind
but not out of tears
Fri Jan 9 13:31:14 2015
> Once I was walking
> drunk in Surry Hills and I
> saw Peter Garrett

only days after
my release from Stanford, I
met Matthew Garrett
Fri Jan 9 13:31:51 2015
> Sarah steels her joy
> Away from all, but even
> She can't keep it all.

to be fair, no one
can back up Megastore to
GTape anyway
Mon Jan 12 12:46:09 2015
relishing today's
lovely cool, breezy weather
(totally slept in)
Tue Jan 13 12:27:05 2015
i can be depressed
about tickets from home, thanks
the engloomening
Thu Jan 15 13:05:17 2015
what I needed more
than my iron will last night
was my iron won't
Thu Jan 15 13:53:58 2015
> morning-after sounds:
> junyer's stomach echoes with
> iron butterflies

manager, puh-lease
by my calculations, more
like "evening after"
Mon Jan 19 13:01:27 2015
a child cries in pain
I bolt awake suddenly
oh, it was just me
Mon Jan 19 14:48:40 2015
sounds like we need a
method and apparatus
for course management
Tue Jan 20 13:17:19 2015
welcome to Kansas
we put the "utility"
in "futility"
Tue Jan 20 14:02:38 2015
> Silly Cnut tries,
> Queries flow past his ankles:
> Ripples in streamz.

fuckety schmuckety
Kansas provisioning
what a catastrophe
and I'm oncall

if you thought Geo were
my handoff's written in
shit on the wall
Tue Jan 20 14:46:46 2015
> Facundo Bacardí
> Made rum for the hardy
> But it's only junyer
> Who drinks by the schooner

in the lowest circle of hell
it's crass to mention the smell
"what the fuck is that stink?"
"just finish your drink
and silence alerts for that cell"
Wed Jan 21 14:08:32 2015
> If NO and you'd like me to regift your gift to someone, please also let me know as soon as you can.

regift, recycle
or reduce it to ashes
nay, I care not which
Wed Jan 21 15:39:05 2015
> watches to ashes,
> dust to dust. sburford sweats
> and the contacts rust

the only thing that
I want less than a watch is
a Google codpiece
Wed Jan 21 16:25:23 2015
> The L did not stand
> For Lemon, Lime, Liquorice,
> [last line redacted].

I need a KitKat
before I die of ethics
in large furniture
Thu Jan 22 11:44:42 2015
jetting off to a
vast, cool ocean of darkness
(not really jetting)
Tue Jan 27 09:07:07 2015
the rain is numbing
but there is no umbrella
against ondoody
Thu Jan 29 12:46:25 2015
the enswampening
day four: lost the won't to live
and where are my pants
Thu Jan 29 13:44:09 2015
> fewer and fewer sense is mayd
> from junyers' poems each passing day(d)

cast aspersions on my odes
gravest ill such casting bodes
who will write tornado codes
when junyer finally folds and foads
Fri Jan 30 13:19:05 2015
I stayed up all night
herding bears and mr_diff
why does my soul hurt
Tue Feb 3 11:55:17 2015
with gratitude to
the colour green and the word

but it could be worse
at least I'm not pantsless in
Seattle again
Tue Feb 3 14:26:01 2015
> there once was a ford named kugar
> whose sync module was always fubar
> but fortunately this time
> it came back online
> didn't even require a screwdrivar

put Java that crawls like a tortuga
on a car named after the cougar
do you even wat
don't answer that
just pass me the bottle of Beluga
Tue Feb 3 14:41:05 2015
> he's finally lost it
> i heard them say
> you didn't like my limerick
> that i wrote earlier today
> but i have good news
> after seven updates to firmware
> and about thirty emails to audi
> the audi is android auto aware
> Dieses letzte Stück in Deutsch
> denn jedes Update bringt diese zurück
> i gelernt, ein neues Wort
> fortsetzen means "continue"

I admit to reading with glee
your poems forwarded to me
now may I suggest
a tattoo on your chest
something like "the, Java, the"
Thu Feb 5 12:41:38 2015
corrosion and death
(don't you see it in my eyes?)
and obsolete bugs

in gathering gloom
as the silence grows louder
the end of all hugs

forever burning
in black light from cold fire
the elephant shrugs
Mon Feb 9 12:57:14 2015
in tunnels that curve
the light is heralded by
a strengthening breeze
Tue Feb 10 13:05:02 2015
stayed up pretty late
berserking through some kind of
niflheim rampage
Tue Feb 10 13:18:12 2015
> Precipitation
> Is the source of your anger?
> c33n?

clod bringeth the lulz
omega will not be mist
the end for the end
Tue Feb 10 13:38:53 2015
> but i'd like to know
> what are your thoughts on the news
> of omega death

ohm, we will add its
distinc^Hk to our own
Thu Feb 12 13:13:37 2015
three empty bottles
the green, the yellow, the smoke
in great conjunction

in their reflections
my shard of eternity
is a brinking light

he made no reply
only thoughtfully scratching
his ear with his nose
Mon Feb 16 11:42:44 2015
but I shot a mouse
in New Orleans just to watch
the falling moon grieve

she loved Muad'Dib
and he adored her more than
cheese for the desert

"dude, I quite like mice"
he rumbled at last as his
pink deepened to red
Tue Feb 17 12:46:54 2015
currently lame in
a very literal sense
cue ableist jokes
Wed Feb 18 10:44:59 2015
lameness continues
still hobbling for my sins
where's that violin
Wed Feb 18 16:32:23 2015
I tried my best, but
now I have to face the truth
schmolli I am not
Thu Feb 19 11:54:45 2015
going crazy from
being stuck at home all week
not that you could tell
Fri Feb 20 10:56:42 2015
why I asked him to
hit me as hard as he could
I will never know

suddenly awake
sans communist pachyderm
forsaken and al—

in the darkness flashed
bioluminescent teeth
what a lovely smile
Sat Feb 21 15:06:33 2015
two weekends oncall
taking the day off to tour
a distillery
Sat Feb 21 16:11:30 2015
> promo packet time;
> junyer beating the rush to
> scrape barrel bottoms.

drunkenly trunkenly
communist pachyderm
it would be nice if he
wrote peer reviews

but if I had to guess
surely would be a word
that he would use
Tue Feb 24 11:46:17 2015
catching up on the
RoCE horror picture show
clusterfuck story
Thu Feb 26 13:16:58 2015
unlike Monday night
no KFC, no regret
you know what I mean
Thu Feb 26 14:24:07 2015
> The tin says: "Sweet Sue"
> But looking at the contents
> I say: "Sweet Jesus!"

how can he be sweet
when he's only wafer thin
maybe aspartame
Thu Feb 26 21:20:51 2015
> Naturally sweet
> He depends on ethylene
> Prose is ripening

they say that Perf is
triping the light fantastic
cow can't stomach it
Thu Feb 26 21:46:16 2015
> perf trip essentials:
> pack some ethylene; ether;
> diethylamide.
> they can make you perf
> but they can't make you perf straight.
> T9 vision quest

I am left feeling
helpless, irresponsible
and depraved by Perf
Thu Feb 26 22:02:02 2015
> "knowledge! scope! impact!
> we must have direct impact.
> what are we, T3s?"

why the fuck can't they make it
a little less pure
Mon Mar 2 14:00:01 2015
sorry, distracted
I don't wish I was senior
and influential
Tue Mar 3 14:41:33 2015
distracted again
for some reason, finding it
hard to keep the faith
Wed Mar 4 20:05:28 2015
so over this week
blame the sudden surfeit of
pointy fuckin' hair

chins wagging loudly
in yonder microkitchen
white (very white) noise
Mon Mar 9 12:50:58 2015
> single task failure
> is the most critical page
> cherry blossom falls

if it's a good night
ignore that page until it
becomes a squire
Mon Mar 9 14:24:08 2015
> In the red corner:
> kansas-team's knightly patron,
> Sir Plus of Quota.
> In the blue corner:
> Sir Osis of the Liver,
> their nightly Patrón.

my four-day bender
saw a lot of Sir Vival
and no Sir Ender
Tue Mar 10 09:53:41 2015
morning meetings at
(i.e. before noon)
Thu Mar 12 13:15:43 2015
as is often said
they can make you do Perf, but
not without Pinky
Fri Mar 13 11:55:44 2015
feeling bluer than
HR smurf in a freezer
reading through cow's file

now to start drinking
and then I will be ready
to continue Perf
Thu Mar 19 14:13:28 2015
whisky, Chartreuse, rum
to the hypnotic tune of
badger, mushroom, snake
Fri Mar 20 05:05:05 2015
stayed up way too late
dropping all the microphones
now it's time to sleep
Fri Mar 20 14:02:27 2015
> microphones ruined---
> your brain on karaoke?
> don't do it again

Perf requires you
to join the faparazzi
Tue Mar 24 09:40:47 2015
some think it ordure
you philistines, 'tis verdure
I, eager splurger
Thu Mar 26 13:18:02 2015
fingers and toes proved
insufficient for counting
standard drinks last night
Mon Mar 30 10:52:03 2015
prioritise sleeping in
engage hermit mode

compensation capped
earlier every quarter
rum buys itself now?
Tue Mar 31 13:09:37 2015
the rain pouring down
like nature's motherly tears
for a life unlived

while oncall gods watch
the dance eternal betwixt
my pager and I
Thu Apr 2 13:49:41 2015
there's a doody and
i'm apparently on it
my oncall reward
Tue Apr 7 13:21:31 2015
the thousand-yard stare
for to focus is to feel
and we can't have that
Thu Apr 9 13:35:38 2015
awake once again
and now trying hard to crawl
out of the crater
Thu Apr 9 21:35:15 2015
ecce jtr
hero and protagonist
the snowpiercer

command and conquer
the siberian tundra
for make benefit
Fri Apr 10 06:19:20 2015
the sun is rising
and i haven't gone to bed
i regret nothing
Thu Apr 16 14:00:14 2015
I woke up at 6
to talk about RE2
and REKT and so on

then was woken up
at 11 and offered
real life insurance

their data is poor
if they think I have a life
(see the first haiku)
Mon Apr 20 11:51:51 2015
with weather like this
I shall skip Hibernia
and hibernate here
Mon Apr 20 13:27:44 2015
cow uses haiku
to give his handoff, but not
to take his hand off
Mon Apr 20 15:35:32 2015
> Moosual suspect.
> Who is this Cowser Soze?
> Like that... Hoof! He's gone.

the greatest trick you
ever pulled was convincing
the world those are hair
Tue Apr 21 11:33:55 2015
it appears that my
not being oncall upset
the natural order

I thought I would die
from ack ack ack, glug glug glug
not from glub glub glub
Tue Apr 21 11:48:47 2015
> Ack ack ack ack ack
> Ack ack ack ack glub glub glub!
> --Admiral Dolphin

this week, we salute
the secret ingredient
in John West tuna
Tue Apr 21 12:05:33 2015
> John West, SRE:
> It's the pages that he NACKs
> make him stack-ranked first

from the pointy hairs
who developed Ream My Meme
now try Rank My Stank
Tue Apr 21 12:49:04 2015
> Ack ack ack ack ack
> Why not arf arf arf arf arf
> Seal of approval

perhaps the worst thing
about going out clubbing
is breaking the seal
Tue Apr 21 15:46:11 2015
"go home, you are drunk"
although for some of us, it's
"go drunk, you are home"
Tue Apr 21 16:58:49 2015
> Hurry up, Wednesday!
> Tuesday has too much aqua,
> not enough vitae.

if the ark carries
Brendan, is it the B ark?
asking for a friend
Tue Apr 21 19:07:27 2015
> a jug of whine
> a loaf of bod
> and thou
> -sands and thousands of packets dropped on the floor.

minaret spinneret
charlotte the barn spider
wrote silken praises for
wilbur the pig

quite unrelated, an
stops interlopers from
plucking a fig
Wed Apr 22 10:00:49 2015
the rain in sydney
stays mainly on anyone
who ventures outside
Wed Apr 22 11:21:41 2015
> Breathing and moving
> Both hurt
> The rest is out of the question

I'm not a doctor
but it's my opinion that
rest is the answer
Thu Apr 23 13:22:15 2015
you know I'm angry
when I'm too angry to work
on RE2 stuff

and Map Maker reviews aren't
my favourite things
Thu Apr 23 14:34:37 2015
gaia-zwieback or
zwieback-gaia? a green shed
now covered in blood
Sun Apr 26 12:05:59 2015
wherever you go
may you find happiness and
fortune together

something Japanese
for love and admiration
Prod squad, present arms
Sun Apr 26 12:12:40 2015
I forgot to Bcc:
still less wrecked than cow
Sun Apr 26 13:11:48 2015
preemptive haiku
in case of emergency
do not break glasses
Mon Apr 27 18:50:28 2015
> glasses are broken?
> try oculus reparo
> or sticky tape

the lonely comet
inexorably melting
orbits unto death
Tue Apr 28 11:45:32 2015
catching up on sleep
after nine hours in two days
and much green Chartreuse
Tue Apr 28 12:08:03 2015
> a benediction
> for your health; should it fail, try
> a benedictine.

a hair of the dog
actually turned out to be
a wig of the yak
Tue Apr 28 13:41:59 2015
> jtr save me
> from these Sydney barber-ians
> And CLs from bed

the parishioner
history's greatest monstrance at
royal on the park
Tue Apr 28 14:00:13 2015
> dave's self-censering
> showing the wafer us all
> he's a perfect host

who could have known that
all that smoke would finally
induce the munchies
Thu Apr 30 13:03:01 2015
sleep deprivation
probably taking its toll
dances with lurgy
Thu Apr 30 16:16:55 2015
free up exabytes
by making Brain dream of cats
for SRE Labs
Thu Apr 30 16:26:19 2015
> oh, and deadlines loom
> proffer crazy to Michael
> for the tsar's blessing

who wants to go in
on project electric sheep
(calm down, krijesta)
Fri May 1 10:24:38 2015
laid low by lurgy
and sad that I cannot meet
social commitments
Mon May 4 13:21:04 2015
recovering from
two afflictions (why not three?)
coughing and limping
Tue May 5 14:30:42 2015
a glorious day
and I'm almost well enough
to venture outside
Wed May 6 19:52:12 2015
> “The time has come,” promo committee said,
> “to talk of many things:
> Of results—and grunge work—and leadership—
> Of commitment—and win-nings—
> And and why these folks are so good at their jobs--
> And whether configs have strings.”
> Ok that last line was a stretch, but I invite you to find a better rhyme for “and whether pigs have wings” :-)

"The time has come," the Wal-urs said,
"To talk of many things:
Of SOCs, ASICs and ceiling cats
Of GPUs and TINs
And why CPUs are boiling hot
And whether squirrels have wings."

(Sorry, it's arguably both too late and too soon for a RoCE joke.)
Thu May 7 13:00:20 2015
for dinner last night
I ate a veggie burger
with added bacon

that is no reason
to be working from home, but
I thought you should know
Thu May 14 13:27:25 2015
for those who would ask
yes, I've finished the crashing
but not the burning
Thu May 14 13:48:59 2015
> He's our treasured financial dictator
> And a moonlighting door-checking gator
> But his bonus largesse
> (when it leaked to the press)
> spelled the end for that Wigginton traitor.

there once was an orange backpacker
(look up carotenosis, you slacker)
on the run from the law
through a portal-like door
could this last line be any wacker
Thu May 14 14:09:59 2015
> Homo homo financis
> Loved by our amanuensis
> Has decided to leave
> To roll up his sleeves
> And march through vast and wild expanses

fighting badgers with only a knife
teaches children the value of life
and they have to like gin
or they go in the bin
wait, is this why I haven't a wife
Thu May 14 14:27:36 2015
while chasing latency tails
saving yaks and shaving the whales
I might have got drunk
even more than I thunk
which explains these nonsensical mails
Thu May 14 16:41:17 2015
> is the whale also a pot of petunias?
> I'm confused: people are drinking junyer?
> then again, that thunk will thrash
> and wreck the icache
> maybe we need afrith@ to tune ya?

my basic block placement is tuned
not simply auto-festooned
it's alpha-grade tech
(I'm clearly a wreck)
if submitted, we'd all be ruined
Mon May 18 12:42:29 2015
good news, everyone
I have almost remembered
how to computer
Mon May 18 14:03:11 2015
core wise, RAM foolish,
spindle rather silly and
network quite absurd
Tue May 19 12:33:02 2015
I stayed up too late
now my mind looks like the sky
clouded and dull grey

somehow justified
because I just want to save
eight nanoseconds
Tue May 19 14:23:59 2015
> Yes, a two by four,
> Per ten he spends currently
> Because fast is best

Borglet scraping text
converting it to numbers
division is slow
Thu May 21 13:15:42 2015
if you could only
see the way uhh actually
better that you can't
Thu May 21 14:16:32 2015
> junyer took tonic
> all about that (data)bass
> no resolution

something about the
execution of N gins
that I don't recall
Thu May 28 14:25:19 2015
I could explain, but
this haiku is too narrow
please just imagine
Tue Jun 2 11:44:11 2015
the bar owner said
"sorry, we have no Chartreuse"
he was wrong at first
Tue Jun 2 12:59:28 2015
> first's gone in seconds.
> after the third, he held forth.
> oops, drank the whole fifth

I would never drink
the Elixir Végétal
straight from the bottle

but then while I was
innocently laying back
it fell in my mouth
Thu Jun 4 16:44:47 2015
"well, obviously"
I've been distracted by the
weirdness in PB
Thu Jun 11 13:28:33 2015
spirit animal
walking down the boulevard
of coke and nightmares

blast furnace awaits
with the Australian beast
offering three nines

bitter is better
and higher in irony
or possibly on
Thu Jun 11 16:03:31 2015
> I'm WFH today... is it on fire deliberately?

terrible haiku
I award you no points and
is it penniless?
Wed Jun 17 12:22:04 2015
I have no regrets
because I just overflowed
an unsigned long long
Wed Jun 17 18:44:22 2015
Chartreuse training, then
visiting the Blind Bear, then
recovering, then

helping with Ruxmon
so I'll be around late on
Friday afternoon

just in case you have
regular expressions that
will depress me more
Wed Jun 17 21:31:19 2015
> Ran this through something
> awful: s/\S+/green/g and got
> A green sea of green
> ... Its debatable:
> A Chartreuse trained blind bear
> Could write any worse? My skills atrophy
> And I hope chartreuse is in
> rgb.txt

but if poor ursa
can't see the light fantastic
how can she trip it
Wed Jun 24 12:15:05 2015
after four days of
living inside a baseball
it rained agave

then as vodka froze
within the water of life
blue blood blurred away

to keep the dull roar
of a scatological
Wed Jun 24 12:35:57 2015
> if it's a dull roar
> the word is indigestion
> not "the way, the truth"

message digested
then ruminated over
cryptographic hash
Wed Jun 24 13:16:31 2015
trainings, tastings and
general shenanigans
before more oncall

Havana Club, then
the Balvenie Craft Fair, then
Whisky Live, then qué

you should come along
but your liver disagrees
most emphatically
Sun Jun 28 17:45:32 2015
today, I learned that
haiku don't just wank themselves
into existence
Mon Jun 29 13:51:49 2015
should not have waited
till 2am to upgrade
to Yosemite

what took the most time
was logging in afterwards
so much fucking rage

but now it looks good
dark and flat – I can almost
taste the bitterness
Tue Jun 30 10:24:49 2015
> You have good raisins
> To feel this way 'bout the dates
> Fish in Oz are nuts

think of it more like
the abyss and I have a
permanent Hangout
Fri Jul 3 13:29:23 2015
an unplanned outage
of neural network fabric
the fail ain't over
Fri Jul 3 13:33:15 2015
my apologies
for the use of metaphor
haiku and wordplay
Mon Jul 6 10:57:27 2015
as the blue sky screams
shards of terrible dreams rain
too sharp to cause pain

what even is time
I feel its relentless flow
as I lay shattered

opening one eye
his look is stern, but his trunk
proffers a brolly
Mon Jul 6 17:56:29 2015
welcome to Google
never stop asking how deep
the rabbit hole goes

(not that this is an
invitation to take the
red pills on my desk)
Mon Jul 6 18:39:26 2015
loop in haiku-slam?
mi casa es tu casa
(cow's casa, really)

this isn't the place
where regular expressions
by others get rekt

though it be toilsome
we must persevere until
haiku post themselves
Wed Jul 8 12:40:36 2015
I now have a cold
thank you to everyone for
your contributions

not incapacitation
much more annoying

sitting on the couch
feeling sorry for myself
(normal Wednesday)
Wed Jul 8 17:36:33 2015
> Bigger than just cow;
> A country, not a casa:
> Our vaca nation.
> (Immune to its charms?
> We allow no deniers;
> a pox on them all)

smash the antigen
give me liberty or uhh
give me anty gin

fool, I'm the illest
speaking of which, it's time for
junyer's medicine
Wed Jul 8 17:48:06 2015
> Make it a triple,
> which can safely be chased down
> with a Rusty Nail.

your good mate Jenny
doesn't seem like she would be
rusty at nailing

but I will admit
that there may be benefits
to locking her jaw
Wed Jul 8 23:07:34 2015
> No jaw-dropping feats
> Except "tête-à-tête"-ing us:
> See HRBP.

HR would agree
about McCarthyism
(plus it was cow's fault)
Wed Jul 8 23:20:22 2015
> 'Twas in good humour.
> Further, I apologise for
> My terrible pun.

there's no need for that
HR visits and bad puns
are in cow's wheelhouse
Thu Jul 9 13:48:12 2015
the spirit is weak
and the flesh is unwilling
zombie mode engage

(where I wish I was
the spirits are superb and
the flesh is marbled)
Mon Jul 13 11:28:46 2015
when eyes do not see
memories do not form to
appease the black dog

the end of that road
is red and bitter with shame
and charred, not smoky
Tue Jul 14 15:05:27 2015
let the record show
that junyer's BAC is
over nine thousand
Tue Jul 14 18:54:03 2015
oops, yeah, I forgot
but you'll be glad to know that
I'm almost calm now
Wed Jul 15 11:52:47 2015
the turnip is farmed
the turnip is inverted
you can't explain that
Wed Jul 15 14:58:57 2015
the shiny future
is shiny only because
the yak hair is steel
Wed Jul 15 17:56:20 2015
good I cannot see
should the stamps be rubbery
wood behind my knee
Fri Jul 17 12:35:38 2015
a gift to Platforms
to commemorate RoCE
Project Wishing Well

all cash collected
is fired into the sun
(wish upon a star)
Mon Jul 20 11:03:52 2015
the abyssal plain
that is Kansas ondoody
abandon all hope
Mon Jul 20 11:04:34 2015
also, it turns out
that talks don't prepare themselves
mine's on Wednesday
Tue Jul 21 13:29:39 2015
extreme ondoody
shepherding a migration
till past 6am

speaking of tilling
I grow artisanal fucks
and here is the field
Fri Jul 24 14:03:29 2015
sleep deprivation
multiple times in one week
will I never learn

truly, the flavour
of the crème de la phlegm is
Sun Jul 26 16:28:45 2015
RoCE: better than
the searing kiss of hot lead
although not by much
Mon Jul 27 12:13:10 2015
just E minor chords
reverberating through an
empty theatre
Tue Jul 28 14:37:40 2015
much like good haiku
good fortune ought to enrich
more lives than just mine

even better shared
with a friend most worthy and

thanks for attending
philosophy 101
here ends the lesson
Tue Jul 28 22:47:56 2015
> A robotic notification
> Met autoresponse re vacation
> Twas promptly ignored
> Because humans get bored
> Building intelligent feedback filtration

why are you reading your mail
your vacation sounds like a fail
although not quite on par
with o comma mhar
the epitome of beyond the pale
Thu Jul 30 12:57:54 2015
undead hawks draw near
meanwhile, I'm tinkering with

to save a few cores
even as bloody talons
wrap around my head
Sun Aug 2 01:09:04 2015
heading to France for
a pilgrimage to Chartreuse
and visiting PAR

thence to England for
extreme moral turpitude
and visiting LON

if I don't return
that is, if I don't survive
burn all of my toys
Sun Aug 2 11:20:53 2015
> typo, I assume?
> (meter's fine; three syllables
> in "turpentine" too)

well, I might sink an
extreme mezcal torpedo
or it might sink me

apart from that, your
extreme mental torpescence
seems somewhat shameful

head covering of
extreme moral tarpaulin
for yonder bovine
Mon Aug 3 14:50:42 2015
through summer and fall
from the valleys to the fells
resonant falling
Mon Aug 3 15:17:18 2015
beneath the deep green
we breathe in the deeper blue
to bathe in the black
Tue Aug 4 13:00:28 2015
we cannot punish
the innocent, but only
because there are none
Thu Aug 6 13:19:24 2015
caught a mild sniffle
which is just nature saying
do not ride the bomb
Thu Aug 6 22:02:04 2015
is this black humour
dark wit or darkness within
more bile first indeed
Fri Aug 7 13:16:07 2015
well, so much for "mild"
physical fatigue kicked in
as did fevered dreams

although the one with
aliens, predators and
talking mice was cool
Fri Aug 7 13:19:46 2015
> transmit a virus
> through the intertubes on line
> via this email
> jetlag and winter
> lowered my defences to
> this rare contagen

but who is to blame
Piper is the source of truth
and it says nothing
Fri Aug 7 14:47:51 2015
> i beg to differ
> bug one six eight two two one
> four one. unresolved

production tech lead
was mispronounced all along
lead as in ballast
Fri Aug 7 22:39:58 2015
> Makes sense; I've always
> felt less "tech lead / manager",
> more "tech lead / balloon"

less like 85
more like 82 and is
that a plum up your
Fri Aug 7 23:03:23 2015
> Lion lies with lamb?
> In Latin chemistry puns,
> wolf lies with the ram.

aesop did warn us
of the boy who cried ethics
a gruesome fable
Sat Aug 8 13:11:27 2015
> an ethics-fix'd person did tweet
> the story of lambswool to meat
> only if that ancient boy
> had stayed more coy
> 'til a pack of wolves he did greet

through their words are ethics assured
through their actions are ethics abjured
when I have dominion
of the common opinion
I will have all those gamers immured
Sat Aug 8 17:49:04 2015
terrible ideas
implemented brilliantly
promotion ready
Sat Aug 8 18:02:55 2015
a changelist composed
of joy antiparticles
can wait till next week

staring at the wall
until it is time to sleep
repeat tomorrow
Tue Aug 11 12:44:30 2015
was counting drinks, but
ran out of fingers and toes
two problems, really

now I awake to
an earth I don't recognise
and the sky ablaze

through the looking glass
letters fall upon the stare
silently cursing
Tue Aug 11 15:02:09 2015
> pundits and wall street
> something to appease the swath
> twenty six PAs

I would like to see
a cryptocurrency mined
with PCRE
Tue Aug 11 17:12:12 2015
> left paren a star star
> right paren star a star
> circumflex dollar dot
> vertical bar
> for energy spent on
> this cryptical language minds
> unambiguiously
> already are

waffle cop waffle shop
jamie "pants" wilkinson
thank you for trying and
doing so well

since I am suffering from
what does that regexp do
I cannot tell
Tue Aug 11 17:38:08 2015
> regexy-schmegexy
> jaq's little pattern is
> all very lovely but
> what hath he wrought?
> though runtime's great (it runs
> antibacktrackingly),
> matching IPv4
> fails: one point nought.

slash geo slash me oh
down the road cross the street
one little party trick
so much regret

nothing could help redgrep's
who would invest in such
technical debt
Tue Aug 11 21:54:58 2015
> cloudy-schmoudy
> with regexp oh so gaudy
> a revenue stream
> one could build with kleene

I think you will find
that drunk-posting poetry
requires practice
Wed Aug 12 12:29:41 2015
> bitcoin after hours
> up sixty percent after
> your five rebuttals

fools and their money
or should I say fools and their
Wed Aug 12 12:33:25 2015
> Embarrassing bug,
> Chrome extension wrecks haiku:
> They're called "recloudals"

I have always said
that the future is clouded
with noxious vapours
Thu Aug 13 11:35:20 2015
I, oncall hermit
while other men just want to
watch Google3 blaze
Thu Aug 13 11:41:33 2015
a tyre fire
will not be extinguished by
adding more tyres
Thu Aug 13 11:51:53 2015
brazenly blazenly
or the alternative
ensuscay onghitsbay
technical debt

I can't complain about
I'm just alarmed at how
bad this could get
Fri Aug 14 12:00:55 2015
what has two thumbs and
thinks automata praxis
is inefficient
Fri Aug 14 13:04:22 2015
TAP presubmit passed
rubber stamp is rubbery
daylight rubbery
Fri Aug 21 14:06:55 2015
barely here today
certainly gone tomorrow
(was gone last night too)

drinking and thinking
which is the distraction and
which is the purpose

as the black sun sets
into the deep green waters
a lone snorkel waves
Fri Aug 21 14:27:26 2015
> bon voyage; enjoy
> swimming a different kind
> of emerald sea

many thanks, good sir
I'm rather looking forward
to the mad release
Tue Aug 25 05:27:45 2015
> such contributions
> are valued quite highly here
> even more than quiche

he's QUIC with a joke
or to set things on fire
but he's in Paris

drinking VEP
and Elixir Vegetal
and regular green

and Wray and Nephew
which is really hard to find
in Australia
Mon Sep 7 12:34:40 2015
two-week holidays
apparently do not scratch
seven-year itches

behold the field in
uhh need of fertiliser
so thank cow for Perf
Tue Sep 8 13:13:50 2015
that odd state of mind
induced by long-haul travel
and missing new friends

things seem out of place
and you aren't really sure that
you want them put back

neither the symbols
nor their framing were altered
but mark the beast was
Thu Sep 10 12:45:31 2015
yet again, I am
a one-man festival of
terrible ideas

do not try to make
a 9am meeting by
staying up all night

GET /statusz
match N-1 regexps
420 bin blaze
Thu Sep 10 15:11:43 2015
straight outta Voiron
crazy monk uhh lover named
Hunter S. Glushkov

where was I when the
seven-year ecce agro
began to take hold
Thu Sep 10 16:05:43 2015
how is plurral formed
that's the phus about Sisy
pantaloons on head
Fri Sep 11 00:16:49 2015
> "do well"? "do better"?
> Bah! Ask "what's one thing you fear?"
> and "one thing you loathe?"
> Mine aren't giant bats
> (Barstow non carborondum)
> Rather, "perf" for both

barrenness under
the eyes of the beholders
and beauty within

paying interest on
the ears of the countrymen
as peers bury me
Sat Sep 12 13:46:02 2015
how I long to hear
welcome to Gehenna, sir
a table for one
Sat Sep 12 13:57:55 2015
> correr miglior
> acque alza le vele
> scrivere haiku

I have tickets to
the machine apocalypse
and drinks and popcorn
Sat Sep 12 14:18:27 2015
> Habia un hombre de Sydney
> Quien gustado su elixir veggie
> Odiaba maquinas
> Especialmente en ruinas
> Tanto es así que los quemo en efigie

I don't mean to preach to the choir
but there's vulcanised rubber on fire
across Google3
and I think you'll agree
the situation is well beyond dire
Sat Sep 12 14:41:59 2015
I'm grinding my teeth in disgust
as my world turns to ashes and dust
when I asked for a pony
what I got was bologna
I can't fucking go on, but I must
Sat Sep 12 15:40:34 2015
> t.s. eliot felt the same, dramatically
> and expressed it quite an-grammatically
> your punctuation is present
> as is a mood quite incessant
> but everything will be fine, emphatically

"this is fine" said the dog in the room
"I'm okay with curators that OOM
and high CPI
and squirrels that fly"
then he calmly went to his doom
Mon Sep 14 00:34:21 2015
once were grunniens
grazin' ere my a-razin'
a raison d'être
Mon Sep 14 11:23:17 2015
> on this sunny monday
> i just wanted to say
> though it's not very clever
> this is the best ku slam ever

daiquiri snaiquiri
bottle in front of me
let us give praise to my
reason to rhyme

this one is written too
but I've run out of space
and timey wime
Mon Sep 14 12:07:25 2015
> -y wibbly wobbly,
> That bottle got got, I see
> Time for a new form

when writing haiku
in the ouroboros form
phrasing is harder
Mon Sep 14 12:38:47 2015
> A polyrhythm
> Of three against four should give you
> The whole filament

greatly attractive
am I if haiku-slam is

quite the opposite
if you meant aesthetic, not
Mon Sep 14 13:01:07 2015
> A man known as the fiber master,
> Should find a thread metaphor for disaster
> The collision of clusters
> Not due to windy blusters
> Will be Le Heurt du Astre

in black books of tree fiddy shades
I am known as a jack of all trades
with mastery of none
although some argue one
that ethanol slowly degrades
Mon Sep 14 14:22:58 2015
> My last response was censored,
> But to this list I'm indentured.
> It's Sunday here,
> Yet it's very clear
> My poesy has been mentored

pontifex chulo
maundy is not for Monday
more Prod gospel please
Mon Sep 14 14:39:38 2015
> O colloquialism
> My sincere distaste unbounded
> For pimps and Perforce

'twas "papi" to "pope"
in hindsight, I should have said
"sancta randalla"
Mon Sep 14 15:51:59 2015
nobody expects
Spanish inquisition by
a Sicilian
Tue Sep 15 12:59:45 2015
three cats at the vet
with ruptured eardrums from my
shrieks of schadenfreude

enough about Perf
how about Tony Abbott
this fuckin' margin
Tue Sep 15 13:29:30 2015
> In RE: Turnbull, shit
> I heard that Abbott had quit
> Stop the boats and press

Abbott was going
to commit seppuku, but
Tue Sep 15 13:32:38 2015
> Turnbull turns turncoat
> Bishop leads the rank and file
> Abbott gets dis-Lodged

outraged citizens
call for a Betrayed Onion
Royal Commission
Tue Sep 15 13:34:13 2015
> Pipped for treasurer,
> But serendpity asks
> Who is now on first

wake up Costello
get the band back together
sad trombone duo
Tue Sep 15 15:02:38 2015
sounds pretty flashy
none of you are volatile
tonsor's got your back
Tue Sep 15 15:09:52 2015
feeding the hungry
ghost of convergence future
pass the hell money
Tue Sep 15 15:24:26 2015
> Being SSD:
> a Mammoth undertaking.
> Got enough cycles?

one can only hope
they never experience
that crushing feeling
Wed Sep 16 09:50:03 2015
stand above the crowd
I know you have feelpinions
that are strong and loud
Wed Sep 16 16:54:08 2015
the most metal name
for a Haskell conference
Thu Sep 17 10:37:06 2015
slumped in the corner
trying to reintegrate
with reality

alas, not because
of liver brutality
just due to meetings

the morality
of subjecting humans to
something worse than Perf
Thu Sep 17 10:53:47 2015
these are the pale deaths
which men miscall their lives or
at least their weeklies
Thu Sep 17 13:23:43 2015
> fix automata
> suffer minsunderstandings
> receive peer bonus
> spend it wisely now
> recovery from meetings
> perhaps on rehab

therapy ain't cheap
it takes an age to finish
I'm up to the cask
Sat Sep 19 19:25:30 2015
mostly overcast
with only occasional
moments of splendour
Mon Sep 21 18:58:14 2015
five peer reviews done
brain fried, but Perf is over
and also oeuvre
Tue Sep 22 12:34:30 2015
unexpected fail
the good news is I'm alive
so is the bad news

sans melodrama
the fail was my getting home
seven hours late
Tue Sep 22 18:31:18 2015
64 interns
in two simultaneous
games of battle chess
Tue Sep 22 18:56:11 2015
writing type checkers
in go could be on the cards
when they're bored of games
Tue Sep 22 22:11:56 2015
what matters more is
angular velocity
said the carnifex
Wed Sep 23 12:17:31 2015
my negronis were
nuclear with a good dash of
elixir just 'cause

but now I must wait
for some blood to return to
my alcoholstream
Fri Sep 25 13:31:44 2015
so I had this plan
to be home and ready for
oncall tomorrow

it looks to succeed
I won't be leaving the house
let me assure you
Fri Sep 25 14:07:04 2015
Eurydice cast
anneal before the altar
roll 4D20
Sun Sep 27 15:26:06 2015
in idle daydreams
they say "I'll bring the Netflix
and you bring the chill"

no two-bar chevrons
yet through crowds thick and thicker
I look for them still

maybe there's no them
or perhaps I won't know them
but know me they will
Mon Sep 28 13:11:48 2015
on caller on brawler
no, I'm not Santa Claus
(bloody philanthropist)
what a weekend

given the absence of
time for some therapy
single or blend
Mon Sep 28 13:14:22 2015
in reality
I'm just going to do the chores
that didn't get done
Mon Sep 28 21:30:11 2015
> straight outta Voiron

is Stretch having posted this
one week earlier
Tue Sep 29 13:05:37 2015
Borg, you aren't alone
in your ongoing struggle
with isolation
Tue Sep 29 14:21:36 2015
> Reserve all the cores
> No isolation problem
> But still so lonely

I, bumbling oaf
hear the hive mind telling me
to go catch more flies
Tue Sep 29 14:37:33 2015
> i reported you
> go slash badisolation
> do you need a hug?

am I a resource
in a vast, unfeeling cube
also, it depends
Tue Sep 29 14:55:49 2015
> the tiny cubesats
> whizzing around in orbit
> must be lonely too

never been that high
or condemned to spend time in
Mountain View lately
Tue Sep 29 15:07:48 2015
yes, in retrospect
"haven't" would have parsed better
never say "never"
Tue Sep 29 23:15:56 2015
constrict the gopher
and keep them boulders rollin'
there's no love in fear
Thu Oct 1 13:27:36 2015
I saw the sunshine
stamping on human faces
and went back to sleep
Thu Oct 1 15:00:53 2015
> Woah man, lay off the drugs.

objection noted
ignore the oppressive heat
and blame the victim
Thu Oct 1 15:49:18 2015
> junyer's work from home haiku
> like a cryptic crossword clue
> must be read no less than two
> times before sense comes to u

layers of meaning
lachrymose, but delicious
like a raw onion
Fri Oct 2 11:16:26 2015
> forgot it's hot there,
> but that shit's positively
> Kerouacian.

sweet dreams of love and
kisses and too much tongue and
Fri Oct 2 11:30:43 2015
pretty butterfly
why can't your twelve-month lifespan
apply to Monarch

cute little kitten
why do you look at me with
bloodlust in your eyes

totes adorbs spider
why are you five feet tall and
clothing me in silk
Fri Oct 2 14:30:18 2015
hang your head in shame
if krijesta and I are
less biased than you
Fri Oct 2 14:53:51 2015
design document
with maths that I understand
Mon Oct 5 20:44:36 2015
my liver just cringed
in anticipation of
the week after that
Tue Oct 6 00:35:43 2015
nonstop forwarding
is literally hitless
except when it stops
Tue Oct 6 12:40:38 2015
almost had enough
of rolling in the herp derp
pass the Adelphi
Thu Oct 8 12:32:51 2015
is this how it ends
packets of noodles and a

washed clean with poitín
for this is how he tends bar
spotless memories

singular ditty
heard from one of my six mouths
this is how it ends
Fri Oct 9 11:57:27 2015
feeding noisily
their fangs dripping blood as red
as their foam noses
Fri Oct 9 14:29:45 2015
thanks for that Subject:
"get in the SEA for training"
cannot be unseen
Fri Oct 9 15:18:34 2015
> I went in the sea
> for training you see
> my life raft was upturned
> my lunch nearly returned
> a sailors life for me

masterful 'sasterful
captain jim mussared
salty adventurer
covered in foam

when you are finished blob
click your heels thrice for there's
no place like home
Fri Oct 9 18:13:23 2015
what the deuce what the juice
john hedditch phd
future nobel winner
doing it live

sadly, yours truly is
can you explain your work
like i am five
Sun Oct 11 22:58:37 2015
wandering in the
spiritual wilderness
less prophet, more loss
Mon Oct 12 12:23:41 2015
are the tungsten rods
also scripted with Python
asking for a friend
Tue Oct 13 08:49:46 2015
look out that window
the darkness is gathering
and the rain will fall

look in this window
the darkness is gathering
and the rain will fall

look in these windows
the darkness is gathering
and the rain will fall
Wed Oct 14 01:03:23 2015
ave, tenebrae
have you come to bring me home
in kindness, in grace
Wed Oct 14 21:03:57 2015
I have been summoned
to Plantation rum training
you know how it is

thence to Archie Rose
to Gardel's and Porteño
to Henrietta's
Sun Oct 18 15:03:49 2015
out a little late
don't scry for me, argentum
silences awe 'em
Sun Oct 18 15:17:32 2015
networking not working
intra-rack blackholing
that I reported a
fortnight ago

but they considered it
my middle fingers say
I told you so
Sun Oct 18 23:07:30 2015
the muggles muttered
that cries of "rangpur!" rang forth
in dolby surround

for nary a one
spoke the language of the tribe
or understood it

or paid homage to
jeroboam in the corner
reigning in silence
Mon Oct 19 04:13:17 2015
> There once was a summit not near Limerick
> Attended by a SRE in that store gimmick
> As he sat in the chair
> On the grand British Air
> Thought he'd compose y'all a self referential poem

as the light showers
upon the windows of the
soul of the machine

as the light showers
continue throughout the day
and into the night

still the machine sits
thinking of photons and tears
raining in silence
Mon Oct 19 12:30:39 2015
using Wine on Forge
creates power by spinning
Goldberg in his grave
Tue Oct 20 17:23:08 2015
I had forgotten
to mention it until now
my apologies

somewhat distracted
by exponential blowup
in DFA states
Wed Oct 21 16:57:36 2015
no training as such
just extreme liver workouts
as per usual
Fri Oct 23 15:45:29 2015
o camel my camel
interview tragedy
rending of garments and
gnashing of teeth

googlers waxing all
get in the sea and then
get underneath
Fri Oct 23 20:31:36 2015
> oh what the hell, +haskell-slam

dances with zealots
all of the tragedy and
none of the romance
Fri Oct 23 20:49:36 2015
looking forward to
widespread use of LuaJIT
in Prod binaries

ach, don't be stupid
be a smarty: come and join
the Census party
Mon Oct 26 13:43:34 2015
mining lazurite
for make benefit nation
of little green men

an island of pens
parched fonts pointlessly scribing
transparent huge beige

the storm weaves itself
as the maelstrom yawns and says
well, come on down then

so derper we go
to get face tattoos from mark
the vampire squid
Tue Oct 27 12:07:46 2015
today's special is
vengeance à la the look of
an unamused cat
Thu Oct 29 13:54:25 2015
gravity whispers
surrender to me, old fool
and rest in pieces

pied and prejudiced
the database overcomes
my chains aversion
Thu Oct 29 16:11:08 2015
> artefact-store_test contains code to calculate a Haar Wavelet transform. It gets it via spanner's paxos implementation. I'm not making this up:

the haar wavelet that
devastates the island will
overturn the raft
Thu Oct 29 22:07:30 2015
onus on bonus on
sergeant jules anderson
you had our backs from a
neighbouring state

and you withstood vulcan
rather than fleeing at
warp factor eight
Fri Oct 30 12:34:53 2015
fixing flaky tests
the struggle is integral
to our existence

failing in opt mode
is perhaps best described as
eff you tility
Mon Nov 2 13:37:18 2015
not a commando
just another green bereft
biting the bullet

but Friday was won
especially forcefully
how much is enough
Mon Nov 2 14:03:46 2015
the borgmon bourgeois
fear the proportional font
Mon Nov 2 16:34:03 2015
> i use the columns
> to find annoying typos
> oh petty cc
> short code is better
> long lines are a red letter
> haskell omg

no one ever asks
do I hate what I became
because of Haskell

next generation
is going through a phaser
silence the lambdas
Mon Nov 2 23:40:37 2015
>> More jumping sharks, less talking at cross porpoises.
> Keep whaling away at this.

this is important
someone is a balaenid
on sre-misc
Tue Nov 3 11:55:47 2015
ravens with wall clocks
of unreasonable size
at my jail cell door

hipping and hopping
from bar to bar while I thirst
a great unkindness
Tue Nov 3 12:42:50 2015
> flavor flav is there?
> the prison is a party?
> - Froggy in SF

and tracy marrow
but that's none of my business
sponsored by lipton
Tue Nov 3 17:04:39 2015
the heroes became
addicted to villainin
and toyed with tonka
Wed Nov 4 13:35:21 2015
> harpoon is not a strategy?

what a splendid trawl
am i turning japanese
om nom 尾の身
Wed Nov 4 19:21:12 2015
> 日本人
> になるジュニャ
> おどろいた

i never did that
you can't prove it was haskell
i'll see you in court
Thu Nov 5 14:23:48 2015
cordon blurred vision
half of the problem is not
copious sleeping
Thu Nov 5 15:11:54 2015
shower decisions
rarely ever hold water
next time, take a bath
Thu Nov 5 15:22:13 2015
> Performance? Performance!
> But impact advice when
> Recently promo'd to
> Senior Sys-Eng?
> Demonstrate leadership,
> Design docs (and poetry),
> Overcommunicate,
> Wastage: avenge

the impact advice
that i took from the quakers
try not to crater
Mon Nov 9 12:36:14 2015
staring into space
thinking about RE2
forgot to do chores
Wed Nov 11 12:32:52 2015
wasted large amounts
of honey and vinegar
don't go fly fishing
Thu Nov 12 14:09:55 2015
SRE converged
with Chartreuse, rum and whisky
titanic success
Sun Nov 15 18:00:02 2015
daiquiri codelab
courtesy of Thor Bergquist
after the bar closed
Wed Nov 18 00:58:48 2015
if you're wondering
the hero of haarlem has
a chilling effect

he lives in the times
that aroused his attention
and his suspicion
Thu Nov 19 12:18:37 2015
thirty-eight today
and forty-two tomorrow
not leaving the cave

besides, I'm oncall
there will be enough melting
for me to deal with
Fri Nov 20 13:47:51 2015
shadow on the wall
who is the imposter that
has sinned against rome

ice broken and mauled
now burning cromulently
deep in spider space

golden tangerine
reading only memories
off the spinning rust
Mon Nov 23 10:48:04 2015
when you have sleep debt
dodging collectors poses
interesting problems
Mon Nov 23 21:29:39 2015
needs Brain filtering
a penny for your thoughts on
writing that gadget

speaking of writing
I see that one good subtweet
deserves another
Tue Nov 24 13:16:35 2015
Christmas time draws near
(my initial attempt was
less diplomatic)
Thu Nov 26 13:23:39 2015
sol invictus reigns
but he has not humoured us
faint traces of salt
Mon Nov 30 14:06:19 2015
meditating on
the stillness of the pond and
too many pebbles
Wed Dec 2 11:00:34 2015
there are tall ships and
there are sma— what time is it
and where are my pants
Thu Dec 3 13:02:26 2015
fran drescher stars in
the fellowship of the wrong
spoiler: they all die
Fri Dec 4 10:46:05 2015
sleepless in westmead
long, painful minutes about
long, painful hours
Mon Dec 7 12:10:36 2015
hobbling hermit
is working on mobile first
and social second
Tue Dec 8 12:51:30 2015
upside-down turtle
travelling around the world
in a coffee daze

far above the clouds
but you can't recall how you
arose through the haze

the spell is broken
and you open your eyes to
three cats' baleful gaze
Wed Dec 9 12:40:35 2015
at the point where I
don't want to see anymore
but can't go get blind
Wed Dec 9 12:51:41 2015
> dark darker darkness
> photon readings negative
> yet he talks in hands

can't see through my palm
but assuredly have just two
fingers for footprints
Wed Dec 9 12:56:55 2015
> hey wait a second
> i checked wikipedia
> thumbs are not fingers

you must be confused
fingers are up, thumbs are down
pages are yellow
Thu Dec 10 13:36:17 2015
not enough impact
perhaps bazel will fix my
lack of vision quest
Fri Dec 11 11:18:00 2015
my admiration
knows no upper bound except
in a Cantor sense
Mon Dec 14 12:41:52 2015
to wake on Monday
not fully recovered and
all the world is beige
Wed Dec 16 12:28:28 2015
in einem Mischglas
Chartreuse, Laphroaig, Campari
zu gleichen Teilen
Wed Dec 16 12:56:14 2015
> Zum Glück ist nur
> das Verhältnis wichtig
> in meinem Literglas

drinking a litre
you'll catch the express bus to
the end of the road

and then spend the night
driving the porcelain bus
that's if you survive
Fri Dec 18 11:34:37 2015
slept in too late and
we have not yet invented
self-running errands
Sat Dec 19 19:37:11 2015
prepare to receive
the most blessed sacrament
of Holy Ramos
Tue Dec 22 13:08:59 2015
what is the reason
for the seasoning of the
liver with chartreuse
Wed Dec 23 17:26:15 2015
no more strong orders
on weak nights and ennui kends
till the gate unlocks
Thu Dec 24 12:18:43 2015
landed a flight of
overproof rums in doubles
crashed during taxi
Sat Dec 26 14:48:22 2015
> The ssd and the iv,
> When they are both full up,
> Of all the snapshots in the wood,
> The ssd bears the load.
> The rising of the usage
> And the running of the backup,
> The completion of the manifest,
> Sweet cleaning in the files

oh holy shite
the pagers are unquietly whining
it is the night of the resource dearth
long lay the cell in CBF and error pining
till jaq acknowledged and took loans for all the worth
a thrill of hope, the weary oncaller rejoices
then yonder breaks a new and glorious thing
fall on your knees
oh hear the devil voices
"bodea the page..."
Sat Dec 26 15:12:08 2015
can we all agree
that borgmon rules, monarch drools
prober laid an egg

organic free range
robotics milled a sundial
next job: pick and place
Mon Jan 4 13:32:05 2016
starting the year right
by spending the first monday
in recovery
Tue Jan 5 13:16:37 2016
rain, rain, go away
come again when I'm oncall
over the weekend
Thu Jan 7 12:41:24 2016
yellow and green from
Tarragona and Voiron
arrived yesterday

one pretty penny
six decades of refinement
mind blown and reblown
Mon Jan 11 12:56:59 2016
trial by fire
if I venture outside and
you know I'm no saint

fire and water
I prefer these elements
when they are combined
Mon Jan 11 14:33:57 2016
> giant nuclear
> fusion ball, pictured smiling
> a yellow charred ruse

call me yellow, but
tarry and you're a goner
ashes to ashes
Tue Jan 12 11:42:06 2016
floating in a well
a cover slides across as
hands pull me under
Wed Jan 13 15:39:27 2016
> musji added note:
> you'll never automate, they guffawed
> but to junyer, the toil gnawed
> so the obstacles, he chainsawed
> and the code, not even scrimshawed
> this much efficiency, should be outlawed

but this makes me sad
"apply to join group"
Thu Jan 14 14:11:37 2016
speaking of impact
mi cráter es tu cráter
make yourself at hole
Tue Jan 19 13:01:09 2016
weeping, the whirled wind
will wander in the whorled weld
with whiskey and why
Tue Jan 19 13:24:11 2016
> wut wut wut wut wut
> wut wut wut wut wut wut wut
> wut wut wut wut wut

there is no amount
of absinthe that will make me
give you the cliff's notes

there is an amount
of absinthe that will make me
make you wish for them
Thu Jan 21 13:08:25 2016
never cross the king
break your fast with the jester
in another court
Mon Jan 25 12:46:46 2016
copper lolwuttle
floral emblem of our land
also layer one
Wed Jan 27 13:35:58 2016
pyretic conscience
prevented an OD on
a lachrymal urn
Fri Jan 29 12:23:21 2016
irony mounting
visited the DR site
I must recover
Mon Feb 1 13:17:05 2016
trust me to sleep in
the day that god changed branches
and ran git stash pope
Wed Feb 3 13:21:23 2016
please excuse junyer
from going to space today
(rocket fuelishness)
Thu Feb 4 13:38:33 2016
the unbearable
heaviness of seeing whys
asked of butterflies
Fri Feb 5 14:42:14 2016
the panda ring has
given me their assurance
of koala tea
Sat Feb 6 19:22:54 2016
as the haters know
sticks and stones may break my bones
names just make me cry
Mon Feb 8 13:07:09 2016
Project Pineapple
is why I went to sleep at

more specifically
staring intently at the
DFA state cache
Tue Feb 9 12:49:27 2016
got carried away
porting Backtrack and BitState
dire lack of sleep

but early numbers
show BitState is faster now
like four times faster
Thu Feb 11 12:56:28 2016
did not intend to
make papal liver pâté
but these things happen
Mon Feb 15 14:01:51 2016
dawdled far too long
at sailor
for a friend's birthday
Thu Feb 18 13:04:08 2016
rabbits fear to tread
and instead peer timidly
into the yak hole
Mon Feb 22 14:07:36 2016
hiding from the heat
spending the afternoon on
GVC instead
Tue Feb 23 14:46:06 2016
seven thousand years
from inventing the wheel to
reinventing it
Thu Feb 25 15:17:50 2016
42 degrees
was the forecast for today
the meaning of death

indeed, hell awaits
and daemons watch via the
progress API
Fri Feb 26 15:43:08 2016
sail into hell and
back to the hacker nooses
(buckle your swash, lad)
Tue Mar 1 12:32:20 2016
shards of the moon swim
above a small blue rabbit
that's forgotten how
Thu Mar 3 14:10:07 2016
what we found at the
foot of the learning cliff were
lemming-sized craters
Fri Mar 4 15:30:42 2016
the gun is heavy
Expected: 2649
roses are redder
Sat Mar 5 15:33:27 2016
the only green dot
unblinking and unmoving
a lonely green dot
Mon Mar 7 12:56:29 2016
a quiet day of
laundry and cruising past the
oncall earnings cap
Tue Mar 8 12:39:58 2016
as the dust settles
the year of the pineapple
finally begins
Tue Mar 8 12:58:16 2016
> That is so not true
> Pineapples and mountain goats
> Arrived there last month

freaky tiki ti
might use a caprine craft beer
to make daiquirales
Thu Mar 10 15:12:33 2016
a wretched mess that
oblivion spat out like
johnnie walker red
Fri Mar 11 17:09:38 2016
did we abandon
the aeronautical theme
due to turbulence
Fri Mar 11 17:19:58 2016
> cryptic images
> of our triptych leadership
> send air support now

he got halfway through
an air traffic barrel roll
before passing out
Fri Mar 11 17:23:05 2016
> ATC theme fits;
> I picked a hell of a day
> To quit sniffing glue.

I think you've started
yelling to send yourself horse
bloody managers
Fri Mar 11 17:35:07 2016
> foam, not gelatin
> spray bright from consultan-sea
> the thread has gone coarse

no, I'm not jelly
unless they sail to Shanghai
junket on a junk
Fri Mar 11 17:41:55 2016
> mbrody may dig
> in Search (or through to China)
> ballast stays afloat

"LSTM" is
nowhere near as nautical
a name as "Jetsam"
Mon Mar 14 14:05:18 2016
over two nights, we
witnessed the firepower
of the Chartreuse shelf

but have yet to taste
El Dorado 25
at the Cuban Place

and then Archie Rose
have their first birthday party
on Saint Patrick's Day
Wed Mar 16 13:31:42 2016
asking people where
to buy a leash for a duck
very dignified
Fri Mar 18 12:04:35 2016
why did I agree
that I would meet anyone
anywhere today
Mon Mar 21 12:57:25 2016
> something about a
> nautical theme. yarr! why not
> consult with musji

gloaty mcgloatface
de jack of all de sailboats
de master of one
Mon Mar 21 13:18:24 2016
and if you gaze long
into the abyss of Perf
you have two problems
Wed Mar 23 13:29:06 2016
programming in the
abject-oriented style
is its own reward
Tue Mar 29 12:15:03 2016
the crowd goes silent
a robot is going to
sing the loom song now

as it bobs and weaves
the crowd is going wild for
pines, apples and pears

meanwhile, the pope pens
an ode to his abode in
the abstract jungle
Wed Mar 30 11:19:07 2016
don't unbreak my heart
because I sure as hell can't
undrain this bottle
Wed Mar 30 13:44:38 2016
> sitting at your desk
> accompanied by Chartreuse
> yak and I converse

I see you have found
my fortress of lolitude
don't lean back too far
Fri Apr 1 13:46:00 2016
ursines of all kinds
their oculars rift and rent
bellow up the stairs
Tue Apr 5 12:45:11 2016
ightlay and ightbray
burns the star I see today
I wish for nothing
Thu Apr 7 13:53:26 2016
within tea for two
there is tea for one thousand
plus one hundred ohms
Mon Apr 11 13:32:10 2016
glimmer in the gloom
disrupting the industry
of oversleeping
Tue Apr 12 13:30:39 2016
stayed up kind of late
just because someone was wrong
on the intranet
Thu Apr 14 11:58:46 2016
the amount of sleep
I need is irrational
or transcendental
Thu Apr 14 12:24:08 2016
> representation
> using some dedekind cuts
> would be cheap and fast

taxation will be
cheap and fast when Mister Trump
goes to Washington
Thu Apr 14 12:34:53 2016
> flat tax, or flat bed?
> either one disturbs the sleep
> as he disturbs peace

a humble bundle
of government services
sold at no set price
Thu Apr 14 20:28:02 2016
With apologies to Elisabeth Whitman...

No, Captain! My Captain!
Faux Captain! Fie, Captain!
Pho, Captain? Pie, Captain?
Woe, Captain. Sigh, Captain.
Go, Captain. Bye, Captain.
Mon Apr 18 11:40:45 2016
went to dinner and
I accidentally the
Carthusian knighthood

and then tonght is
the PS40 soft launch
(ping me, Sydney folks)
Mon Apr 18 11:44:07 2016
or "tonight" even
thanks for nothing, spoiled chicken
anyway, yeah, that
Thu Apr 21 13:48:50 2016
thought, contemplation
reflection, introspection
meditation, ex—
Tue Apr 26 11:13:53 2016
rage, rage, go away
CPU-local magnets
how do they work, eh?
Wed Apr 27 13:26:08 2016
did someone get the
number of the asteroid
that hit me last night
Thu Apr 28 12:15:39 2016
today feels as though
my affect is flatter than
Switzerland isn't
Mon May 2 11:51:29 2016
oh my gazpacho
the perfect soup for revenge
I mean, ragequitting
Tue May 3 13:26:43 2016
flow my gelato
the doctor said tearfully
raining in soylents
Tue May 3 15:23:36 2016
> so anamnetic
> the elephant in the room
> crypto-deletion

I am twelve, he said
and what is sonic about
vodka and orange
Thu May 5 13:45:43 2016
meeting jerrywang
in a bar in Sydney was

"what was your ldap"
is a shibboleth that still
makes oldtimers twitch
Tue May 10 14:01:25 2016
"how much do you have?"
"of the VEP? plenty!"
and then he didn't
Tue May 10 15:11:02 2016
> A haiku about this thread.
> No no no no no,
> No no no no no no no,
> No no no no no.

libera te ex
the American nightmare
transfer to Sydney
Wed May 11 13:24:54 2016
trying and failing
to speed up the bytemap code
(I haven't slept yet)
Thu May 12 14:16:07 2016
slept more in one night
than I would have over two
funny how that works
Thu May 12 17:47:41 2016
> 3am blackout
> causes UPS to beep
> A sleep outage, too

does that mean that you
were sleepless in Seattle
(sorry not sorry)
Thu May 12 23:13:48 2016
> 3am blackout
> causes UPS to beep
> A sleep outage, too

so long and thanks for
all the outages, she said
memento nori
Tue May 17 13:58:46 2016
I was a judge for
a cocktail competition
on World Chartreuse Day

the night ended with
impromptu supper club and
sibling rivalry

Sponsored Haiku

Golden Century
obscenely good food even
at an obscene time
Wed May 18 21:20:56 2016
I vowed never to
use the haiku-slam corpus
for machine learning

because I want Brain
to put me out of a job
not out of a job
Wed May 18 21:22:30 2016
we also accept
limericks if you prefer
or double dactyls
Thu May 19 14:45:17 2016
breaking bartenders
with the combined powers of
Chartreuse and Laphroaig
Sun May 22 19:48:35 2016
best pigeage wins, so
ruined Arthur flonked the flonks
while Camelot burned
Mon May 23 12:04:31 2016
cleaning everything
that I neglected to clean
over the weekend

or else I will drown
in a mixture of cat fur
and styrofoam scraps
Mon May 23 14:13:34 2016
having a party
for the impending launch of
cats into the sun
Tue May 24 13:57:18 2016
couldn't sleep because
someone said post-increment
is more expensive

watched the sun rising
and found myself wishing to
be a vampire

bursting into flames
like a modern compiler
faced with i++
Tue May 24 23:17:26 2016
the crowd reacts with
flak, ack-ack and bric-a-brac
cue yakety sax
Thu May 26 14:14:26 2016
I like my drinks like
Americans fry bacon
outrageously stiff
Thu May 26 14:22:35 2016
their bacon can cause
stabbing pains in the stomach
in more ways than one
Fri May 27 11:14:00 2016
> who burnt your bacon?
> that's not 'murrica's confit
> confidentially

SFO breakfasts
were very disappointing
a few years ago
Fri May 27 11:15:54 2016
hey, I just met you
and your termites are crazy
but here's my numbat
Sun May 29 19:28:10 2016
> speaking of numbats
> they would thrive in Sunnyvale
> the sawdust is deep

is the real problem
the dead wood, not the white ants
asking for a friend

is there too much dung
or too many dung beetles
asking for a fiend
Mon May 30 14:45:25 2016
what is best in life
to hear the lamentations
of their oncallers
Tue May 31 12:22:29 2016
> no playbook entry
> user harm neglibible
> awake for nothing

no playbook at all
no OKRs, no roadmap
alive for nothing
Tue May 31 12:38:16 2016
under skies of grey
'twas in the last days of May
we sat sipping Wray

drink the pain away
before it eats you away
was all he would say
Tue May 31 23:19:37 2016
where did the last piggy go
ersatz Giger hurts
Wed Jun 1 15:01:00 2016
> more fortissimo
> behind fewer foot digits,
> 24601

those less miserly
with their time are more able
to accrue sleep debt
Wed Jun 1 15:03:06 2016
> can you hear the profile sing
> singing the songs of unknown spend
> it is the music of the function that will not be traced again

surrender your cheese
unto these starving monkeys
that they may eat it

for they have no bread
and being such poor bakers
have no cake either
Wed Jun 1 15:13:32 2016
you've mistaken me
for someone with an interest
in trace collection

if you look closer
you'll surely see that I'm no
dapper gentleman
Wed Jun 1 17:00:10 2016
> dapper? maybe not.
> but no-one alive can beat
> junyer's sampling rate

getting blind is bad
but worse is getting deaf off
a NyQuil Shandy
Wed Jun 1 17:06:21 2016
> No more a number,
> junyer is a now a free() man:
> our own Jean Valgrind

I will take a break
from the regular program
after this segment
Thu Jun 2 14:00:53 2016
tested and also
exhausted by the struggle
with Rhesus pieces
Mon Jun 6 14:22:30 2016
I can has lurgy
my zest for life had to be
taken down a peg
Tue Jun 7 13:19:28 2016
mostly recovered
I just have to get rid of
this Flemish coffin
Thu Jun 9 13:52:46 2016
featured on the wall
a creature netted, scaled and
wrapped in swaddling bronze
Tue Jun 14 13:56:52 2016
to save yourself from
the devil in the details
just don't give any

fill your greendoc with
images of bunnies and
pancakes and teapots
Thu Jun 16 13:25:05 2016
when you lose a hand
and then hand feeding is banned
that's a moray eel
Tue Jun 21 14:05:13 2016
till all is reduced
through madness and destruction
to dust and ashes

till all that remains
are ghostly echoes through space
of dots and dashes
Thu Jun 23 12:36:32 2016
the knight is darkest
and very likely drunkest
just before the dawn

so burn the sky bright
he's decided that flames will
reach heaven tonight
Mon Jun 27 14:27:28 2016
nasal congestion
invoking the pale rider
with nasal pause frames
Tue Jun 28 14:01:49 2016
I can breathe again
my zest for death is almost
within SLO
Thu Jun 30 14:55:08 2016
eternal questions
"what is the meaning of life?"
"how did you find that?"
Fri Jul 1 12:46:07 2016
> affluent answers
> "read books, acquire wisdom"
> "I asked Jeeves, of course"

I'm writing the book
on RE2 so that I
can throw it at you
Mon Jul 4 14:51:09 2016
dulcet pager tones
I missed you even more than
silk charm missed the tree
Tue Jul 5 14:10:01 2016
muttering "my eyes!
the throttles do nothing!" and
rocking back and forth
Thu Jul 7 14:24:15 2016
velocity is
rarely terminal unlike
Tue Jul 12 13:27:21 2016
we sipped rum and rye
if that's wrong, then why be wright
brothers, let us fly
Thu Jul 14 12:21:54 2016
quite unlikely to
get into Stanford these days
oy, the flesh is weak
Thu Jul 14 12:39:09 2016
> Ahoy there junyer,
> This is my final handover!
> May the queries flow.

if you are leaving
to seize the fish of the day
don't forget to scale

especially when
courting success disaster
hashtag poke mongo
Thu Jul 14 12:49:41 2016
> SRE haiku:
> 8 syllables in middle line
> N+1 4 LYF

eagles may soar, but
weasels don't get sucked into
N-1 clouds
Tue Jul 19 14:15:54 2016
I'm guilty of looking a
gift fowl in the wing
Wed Jul 20 14:32:15 2016
why am I awake
end this day of endless grey
bring on endless black
Wed Jul 20 16:27:55 2016
this is turning out
to be such a great week for
imposter syndrome
Thu Jul 21 13:56:13 2016
I have started to
turn the baseball inside out
it's going slowly
Thu Jul 21 14:44:39 2016
quoth Lenoir HwOps
"Poe, shall your soul be lifted"
Mon Jul 25 00:07:48 2016
I have to go see
a man about bananas
(the 'b' is silent)
Tue Jul 26 12:59:03 2016
chelae tear the air
deafening sibilation
manifest nightmare
Tue Jul 26 14:37:08 2016
> i guess somebody
> felt extra crabby today
> you know I. Haight Lisp?

you know, Doctor Claw
my arak need has become
a nice addiction
Thu Jul 28 14:12:42 2016
the robot obeyed
alas, what it had misheard
was "flay a minion"
Mon Aug 1 13:50:20 2016
hollow existence
a fate not exclusive to
common garden gnomes
Tue Aug 2 13:53:08 2016
my good mood has passed
it's clear that today isn't
the end of the world
Wed Aug 3 00:03:10 2016
going to visit
a certain beachside suburb
that's full of hobbits
Thu Aug 4 13:47:03 2016
pleased to report a
successful expedition
I'm nearly sober
Mon Aug 8 14:07:31 2016
new rule: demands for
more "upbeat" music will get
the Cat Empire

because the fans of
the Canadian mallard
are more obnoxious
Tue Aug 9 14:01:18 2016
code review blamed for
flurry of self-inflicted
facial puncture wounds

Sponsored Haiku

so then the hero
strong and brave, a fitting end
to the planet gave
Tue Aug 9 23:49:03 2016
arise and go now
but lest you be pilloried
look not behind thee

unlike clang-tidy
cleansing fire is cleansing
and also fire
Thu Aug 11 14:46:36 2016
Silicon Valley
where the nails are coming from
inside the coffin
Thu Aug 11 16:32:57 2016
> someone say hammer?
> because i can see a case
> for letting this pass

they're Americans
you'll have to pry the nail gun
from their cold, dead hands
Thu Aug 11 17:07:36 2016
I said that it was
my heart and my soul because
you are what you eat
Tue Aug 16 13:47:17 2016
they courted madness
luckily, her attention
had been divided
Thu Aug 18 14:11:13 2016
this is serious
I might be an SRE
he told his mother

we have to take paints
to ensure that this bikeshed
is pained correctly
Thu Aug 18 14:30:53 2016
> Taking paints? A job
> for those silvertongued devils
> of Chrome-ing Infra

if you see something
spray something, but never get
your nose out of joint
Thu Aug 18 14:37:26 2016
> Paint in infra-red?
> Novel shade for throwing shade
> Jeebus, take the wheel

tone policing means
that those who witness thoughtcrime
must make hue and cry
Thu Aug 18 14:46:46 2016
> The mediocre
> drove in cars, not bikes, thusly
> shouted "witness me!"

hail, erythrocyte
Sydney offers tribute of
salt, sand and male sheep
Thu Aug 18 15:00:40 2016
> rolling ribbons write
> and use hues hewn of ewes' 'dos
> invisible ink

no, Mavis Beacon
I care not for wigs or gum
but figs are my jam
Thu Aug 18 15:39:30 2016
> Motown from Chi-town
> Staple Singers really jam
> Like: "That was easy"

I am the walrus
the time has come to discuss
the shape of this wheel
Fri Aug 19 11:01:57 2016
staying up too late
ruined my plans for today
parce que je suis merde
Mon Aug 22 12:14:40 2016
the confluence of
Monday, being oncall and
ominous weather
Tue Aug 23 13:40:48 2016
I sleep only when
one of my cats starts to look
like Tyler Durden
Wed Aug 24 12:34:42 2016
it was 6am
when I finally gave up
because TAP was hosed
Thu Aug 25 14:09:11 2016
the sleep debt has been
only partially repaid
why do I do this

also, dogs ought to
post shit on the internet
not in the office
Thu Aug 25 16:59:58 2016
> the form and content
> should be thoughtfully treated
> as distinct aspects

yes, and services
should be not on fire, but
reality sucks
Sun Aug 28 18:57:29 2016
there were signs warning
"beware of the minotaur"
around the cornfield
Mon Aug 29 14:07:46 2016
> "I'm pregnant! We're through!"
> But Minos begged his wife:
> "Don't have a cow-man"

"this is bullshit, so
I must be getting close now"
said Sarah Williams
Mon Aug 29 14:18:46 2016
sitrep from junyer
sleeping normal: all fleeped up
Tue Aug 30 15:20:24 2016
room 101 is
where they bring out what they keep
in the first four rooms
Wed Aug 31 00:22:29 2016
> Four Rooms. George Clooney
> Harvey Keitel. 404
> good movie not found.

the kind of movie
that should someday be reshot
with a Lee–Enfield
Thu Sep 1 14:35:11 2016
ninety-nine problems
although three bags of saline
would fix all of them
Tue Sep 6 13:05:29 2016
but in the morning
I will still be falling out
of the Chartreuse tree
Thu Sep 8 14:00:41 2016
the breeze brings a smile
maybe everything will be
okay in the end

(yes, it's a cool breeze
or else I would joke about
the oncoming train)
Mon Sep 12 13:10:09 2016
Daredevil cosplay
involves more than just getting
marvellously blind
Tue Sep 13 12:37:29 2016
the operator
reckons there's no number for
dial an asteroid
Thu Sep 15 14:43:31 2016
dear rum diary
the hunters of ken vow to
free the epsilons
Thu Sep 15 15:22:19 2016
> where has the rum gone?
> drops infinitesimal
> archived, but not lost

she is fond of rum
and I, though dead inside, am
growing fond of her
Thu Sep 15 15:49:11 2016
> Mopey McMopeFace
> how does thy ennui grow!
> gioia infonde

singing the gloom song
so that everyone will know
what the 'G' stands for
Thu Sep 15 16:03:10 2016
> a Flickr of doubt
> "global" or "Google"? Yahoos.
> mind the E/F gap

we adopted the
approach of messing passage
between two subjects
Thu Sep 15 16:39:11 2016
> distance? anodyne?
> try a duet du sorbet
> nothing in carmine

what the pig meant is
that our insects don't scale, so
he files bugs for us
Mon Sep 19 11:18:54 2016
big government said
that I needed to install
window safety locks

now I wonder if
similar laws exist for
strata in Darwin
Mon Sep 19 14:19:29 2016
one conference, then
one of the afterparties
concluding Bar Week

one sad farewell, then
one michelada begins
another chapter
Wed Sep 21 14:18:40 2016
still woozy due to
the weaponised cinnamon
deployed this morning

it couldn't be helped
truly, those pineapples were
coming right for us
Thu Sep 22 13:47:10 2016
operating while
under the influenza
an unpleasant change

thankfully, I feel
only mildly afflicted
(but this will jinx it)
Mon Sep 26 14:06:26 2016
they are fixing the
broken intercom system
(mere years overdue)

so now visitors
should expect to be thwarted
by being ignored
Tue Sep 27 14:06:17 2016
so it turned out that
3am was my bedtime
not just Mike Baird time

keep Critique open
my worst idea ever for
a grassroots movement
Thu Sep 29 13:53:10 2016
perhaps I remain
to see if fear will kill the
brown and sticky dwarf
Mon Oct 3 00:32:58 2016
mental health reasons
is all I'm going to say
not even joking

I'll have my laptop
for secondary oncall
if I leave the house
Thu Oct 6 14:33:25 2016
I have now reached the
physical exhaustion phase
of having the flu

bonus points for the
involuntary napping
some more of that please
Fri Oct 7 13:29:22 2016
nearly well again
it's just that my body aches
as much as my soul
Mon Oct 10 11:21:44 2016
star light, star too bright
and it isn't summer yet
so back the hell up
Tue Oct 11 13:54:26 2016
even water tastes
like a lifetime of regrets
it must be Tuesday
Thu Oct 13 14:21:46 2016
be the spare change that
you wish to see in the world
he slurred between drinks

let's talk about your
mass to value ratio
the elephant blinked
Mon Oct 17 13:09:28 2016
let's not spend our time
scrutinising minutiae
of the secondment

even in Erlang
those map reduce functions won't
distribute themselves
Tue Oct 18 12:47:09 2016
handsewn once again
grimly reaping the whirlwind
that is Kansas mail
Tue Oct 18 12:53:39 2016
HR nagging me
to use more vacation days
Welpy McWelpface
Wed Oct 19 00:10:02 2016
he has been known to
favour a hair of the dog
during October
Wed Oct 19 01:02:47 2016
> I am looking for a golang developer, meanwhile I found you on github in Golang developer list.

yes, it lists myself
and other luminaries
like Ken, Rob and Russ

> My project is about Movie database and it was made in codeigniter. But now i want to go with golang.

the code must ignite
so the web solutions can
rise from the ashes

> My budget is $15 per hour. If you are confortable with my offer, add me on skype jaimin26783 or just reply to my email.

hopefully, one of
the other thousand people
you spammed will accept
Mon Oct 24 13:13:12 2016
fear and loathing and
jumping from the third storey
would not be fatal

this is what I get
for not reading enough mail
on my two days off
Tue Oct 25 02:29:36 2016
> if you are in the market to
> target Cloud Computing Users, then we are happy to inform you of our
> recent Cloud Computing users email list release with all business details for
> businesses of all size, across a variety of industries.

but who is "we" here
maybe you would care to share
your business details

> Information Fields – Name, Title, Email, Phone
> Numbers, Company Name, and Company Details like, Physical Address, Web Address,
> Revenue Size, Employee Size and industry.

truly compelling
I could not do that with a
very small shell script

> We also have other
> technology users like: Amazon Web Services, 3tera, Cloudera, Intacct and many more.

do you have lists for
those companies that sell to
the spy agencies

> Please review and let me
> know if you are interested in the above or if you prefer any other technology
> list.

you should try using
TensorFlow machine learning
I can sell you some

> If you are not the right
> person, feel free to forward this email to the right person in your
> organization.

Larry or Sergey
but I'm kind of a big deal
so how about both
Tue Oct 25 14:03:24 2016
one lonely ronin
one Django application
slinging gun and chain

SRE spotting
heroine and valkyrie
chooser of the slain
Tue Oct 25 14:46:58 2016
> We provide B2B contacts across the globe of all types of
> technologies and products.

I must ask again
who is this "we" providing
B2B to me

> It would be great if you could specify the industry and target
> geography you are looking for?

precooked meat products
such as pork shoulder and ham
preferably canned

> Let me know your thoughts, I’ll get back to you with the more
> information.

I think I'm hungry
but 3pm seems kind of
early for dinner
Thu Oct 27 14:00:32 2016
a long time ago
in Kansas far, far away
(but not far enough)

replica sets failed
to bring order to Kansas
but now a new hope

One Table Per Child
please give generously to
this great charity
Fri Oct 28 14:36:10 2016
Chile is fucked up
beyond all replication
what would Jamie do
Sun Oct 30 13:40:09 2016
Urbi et Orbi
is so much better when the
Pontiff is crying
Tue Nov 1 14:49:20 2016
I called the man who
slang the booze and I asked him
for some happy news

but he just sighed and
fought to say "the sacred store
is a store no more"
Wed Nov 2 00:08:26 2016
"Global" Test is Ads
much like how the "World" Series
is America
Thu Nov 3 15:11:33 2016
a small blue rabbit
a post-Henrietta world
a search for meaning
Thu Nov 3 15:22:22 2016
a madman once said
be the change that you wish to
see in production
Fri Nov 4 15:43:07 2016
> it's quine and quinine
> fever dreams, JAR manifests
> Tenerife dish

pitchforks and torches
as democracy lynched the
children of Stroustrup
Fri Nov 4 15:50:45 2016
> Change-list summary
> Said "roast beef machinery"
> And we understood

tell me, Mr Jones
what good is Stubby if you've
no IO monad
Sat Nov 5 14:50:12 2016
> oh, it's "hermetic"
> effect by solipsism
> MESI or a dream?

nearly 5am
I breeze past the trees on the
empty city street

nearly drunk at last
I gaze through the haze to the
corner of the block

nearly home again
I kiss the abyss in the
back seat of the car

nearly dead asleep
I see the debris of the
self and close my eyes
Mon Nov 7 13:54:22 2016
why get out of bed
if I'm not even saving
one million SWE-years
Mon Nov 7 23:40:18 2016
mourning till morning
then no doubt recovering
from mourning till night
Tue Nov 8 00:23:45 2016
2016 has
just delivered two shocking
existential threats

firstly, the widespread
obsession with promotion
that burdens our souls

secondly, rampant
lunching when travellers are
the minority
Wed Nov 9 18:00:37 2016
I'm alive somehow
not that I wanted to be
but these things happen
Thu Nov 10 13:55:29 2016
the blind and numb will
be unable to sense when
it grows dark and cold
Thu Nov 10 23:45:31 2016
> the anamnetic
> cannot forget that tenet
> "Love ain't pluperfect."

I voted to put
the hedj in hegemony
make SYD great again
Fri Nov 11 16:53:46 2016
> such great high posting
> deserves a spot at the top...
> quark, charm or bottom

strangely, I don't like
that particular joke, but
it doesn't matter
Fri Nov 11 18:51:43 2016
> My heart is so full
> Of gentle peaceful yearning
> For what might have been
> Can't be dejected
> River of life flowing on
> Awake from the dark
> Mad Max as teacher
> Make myself a five year plan
> Just need a new car

I can't remember
love, belonging or even
her name anymore

and I can't forget
the kinds of pain they use to
harvest endorphins

but I provided
diminishing returns to
feed their addictions

so I was unplugged
and sent up to the surface
to die in the sun

I can't remember
ever in my life feeling
so fucking relieved

and I can't forget
2016 was the last
US election
Fri Nov 11 19:05:07 2016
> Documentary?
> Oceanic penitentiary?
> Let's assume away.

why do we fall, Don?
so those who survive can learn
to pick themselves up
Fri Nov 11 19:14:51 2016
> My quark-themed reply
> was colourful, but my dog
> spilled some gluon it

I was waiting for
a muon to take charge and
put a spin on it
Tue Nov 15 14:10:40 2016
post apocalypse
cockroaches and Blaze loading
Java packages
Wed Nov 16 02:55:47 2016
they were always there
waiting for the signal for
the dance infernal
Thu Nov 17 14:12:03 2016
maybe all of this
is just an s-expression
in the mind of god
Thu Nov 17 15:06:07 2016
> Ostensibly yes;
> upon closer inspection
> it's actually perl.

there's more than one way
to come to realise that
Perl was a mistake
Sun Nov 20 15:56:15 2016
who would you die for
why do people never ask
who would you live for

and pinky promise
to tear down all the walls that
your liver paid for
Mon Nov 21 13:41:51 2016
we had managed to
bell the cat with a bell that
weighed more than the cat
Tue Nov 22 13:17:20 2016
please don't tell interns
to subscribe to haiku-slam
you know who you are
Tue Nov 22 13:25:28 2016
the PR folks said
to put on a happy face
they didn't say whose

(it rubs the Monarch
on its skin or else it gets
the Borgmon again)
Thu Nov 24 11:53:55 2016
God is in the rain
but I'll talk about next week
when I file for leave
Fri Nov 25 14:27:21 2016
I'm giving thanks for
datatype migrations and
bad sleeping patterns

it's a nice change to
be working till sunrise, not
drinking till sunrise
Fri Nov 25 16:20:22 2016
Monday: Archie Rose
then burning pineapples for
Mitch Wilson's birthday

Tuesday: probably
recovering from all that
airborne cinnamon

Wednesday: showing
an old friend from Canberra
one too many bars

Thursday: Burrow Bar
making it rain green Chartreuse
for their first birthday

Friday: most likely
twitching in a corner or
perhaps a gutter

I will answer mail
whenever I remember
how to computer

what is the lifespan
of a social butterfly
asking for a friend
Fri Nov 25 18:27:45 2016
> I'm green with envy
> to say nothing of your guests.
> Start burrowing now!

should I mention that
it's a double magnum from
Tue Nov 29 23:00:34 2016
> the fusion research
> is gathering momentum
> we have plasma now

have you constructed any
mechanical arms
Sun Dec 4 17:02:25 2016
> no arms but we may
> well have irradiated
> one or two spiders

with great power comes
great responsibility
or great corruption
Mon Dec 5 11:30:36 2016
from inbox zero
to inbox aleph zero
in just a few days

a thread count like this
is a sheet situation
or a tapestry

lovingly crafted
at the mountains of madness
by Azathothkin

good thing I did the
readability reviews
over the weekend
Wed Dec 7 13:42:53 2016
ninety-nine regrets
and not eating dinner is
ninety-nine of them
Fri Dec 9 13:34:47 2016
it feels like I have
been winning at battledore
quite a lot lately
Fri Dec 9 17:44:42 2016
> Jan 7 - Mar 27: We'll be in Zurich. It'll be winter, it'll be cold. But there will be virtually no overlap with -- like anyone.
> Apr 7 - Jun 30: We'll be in Sydney. Obviously not as remote to ya'll as ZRH. And certainly not as cold. Maybe even squatting next to you.*

around the world in
one hundred and eighty days
plus or minus some

> * Will also be interested in anything anyone has to share about things in Glebe, as that's where we've rented a house.

hanging out with Jim
will lead to crazy thoughts like
"I should buy a boat"
Sat Dec 10 02:30:33 2016
it takes practice to
maintain eye contact as you
drown your inner child
Tue Dec 13 12:45:11 2016
the temperature
(in Celsius) right now is
greater than my age
Thu Dec 15 13:35:08 2016
why is the rum gone
and why was I sleeping on
a traffic island
Mon Dec 19 13:00:38 2016
I can confirm that
there's no rest for the wicked
just a lot of soap
Tue Dec 20 13:23:20 2016
is alcohol why
Rudolph had rosacea
don't drink and drive, son
Tue Dec 20 15:30:14 2016
a thundering herd
polling for changes is a
valid deathstyle choice
Thu Dec 22 13:13:27 2016
quoth Metal Jackson
Megiddo: a better place
for you and for me
Thu Dec 22 18:27:22 2016
if you need help with
Chartreuse, rum or RE2
feel free to page me

or just ask yourself
(if you have health insurance)
what would junyer do
Fri Dec 30 15:15:42 2016
looking left and right
a really bad platitude
not acrostic street
Fri Dec 30 16:16:17 2016
it's like carving ice
flecks of thought that fly away
and melt as quickly
Fri Dec 30 17:00:57 2016
> Is this the real life?
> Is this just fantasy?
> Caught with no pages,
> No escape from the ticket queue.
> Open your eyes,
> Look at my handoff and see,
> I'm just an oncall, I need no sympathy,
> Because I'm easy come, easy go,
> Little high, little low,
> Any way the page load doesn't really matter to me, to me.

gun against its head
/quitquitquit, now it's dead
file cleaning resumes
Fri Dec 30 18:33:35 2016
the 2016
retort to Hanlon's razor
por qué no los dos
Tue Jan 3 13:19:54 2017
haven't you noticed
that we are the asteroid
just in slow motion
Tue Jan 3 21:15:24 2017
that's a new post for
ridiculous baby names
dot tumblr dot com
Wed Jan 4 19:23:42 2017
dear secret santa
thank you very much for this
unexpected gift

one hundred classics
which is nearly one hundred
more than I have read
Thu Jan 5 13:10:40 2017
hash_map of bool to
hash_map of bool to T is
your ticket to ride

the W train
to the T train to the A
train to the F train
Thu Jan 5 16:55:02 2017
> make sure to use a
> hash function with collisions
> between true and false

the same hash function
that Republicans used to
get Trump elected
Thu Jan 5 16:55:12 2017
> zero-cost abstraction
> was simply too cheap for them
> hence, let them eat hash

I think you will find
that they ate it just before
writing the changelist
Thu Jan 5 16:55:31 2017
> instructions unclear:
> so I encrypted the salts
> and hashed the cookies

this is just to say
I have eaten the cookies
that were in the jar

th͟i͢s is ̷j͟ưs̶t t̸o̵ ̢say
̨I͞'v̷e als̛o ̡eat̨èn the s͟a̛lts
̡t͜h̷at͢ w͏e͜r̷e͡ ͏iń the bath

t̢͜h̢i̧ś͡ ̴i̶̶̡s͝ ͡j̵̢u̵̕st ̨̡͘t̨ò ͏s̷ą҉̷y̴̡͡
y͘͏o̢͝u̕r̷ ̡͢͜fà̴̕c̴͢e̢͠s̸͝ w͜e̴r͟͞e ̛͡d̛̕è̕l͡į͘c̶͟iou̵̸̧s̵̀͡
̵̷͟s͢ǫ͝ ş͘we͝e̶̢t̸ a͏ń͡d̛ ̵so̸ ͝c̕͘ol̸d̴
Thu Jan 5 16:55:42 2017
that's not a haiku
get the 5-7-5 out
or get the F out
Fri Jan 6 15:22:12 2017
one further comment
pertinent to the image
Santa wasn't white
Mon Jan 9 14:25:43 2017
some part of my brain
decided that I'd stay up
until 4am
Tue Jan 10 14:01:11 2017
struggling to write
about simple concepts and
to get enough sleep
Wed Jan 11 16:10:26 2017
four empty bottles
souvenirs of good times past
with great bartenders

but now it seems that
SRE has developed
an image problem

so I have been asked
to hide away out of sight
four empty bottles
Thu Jan 12 13:07:15 2017
on days like today
my favourite transformer
is pessimus prime
Thu Jan 12 13:13:04 2017
the robot who is
always either correct or
pleasantly surprised
Thu Jan 12 21:45:24 2017
you thought I was meat
but I am mostly water
bamboozled again
Mon Jan 16 14:09:30 2017
why argue over
the plural of "Sisyphus"
I'd rather have none
Tue Jan 17 13:13:13 2017
maintaining the rage
against Machiavelli
(yes, you're gonna burn)
Thu Jan 19 13:45:34 2017
here comes Cthulhu
I wish I had enough time
to take a selfie
Tue Jan 24 14:03:11 2017
be sharp-eyed or an
accidental haiku will
catch you flat-footed
Wed Jan 25 17:17:18 2017
> To Haiku like him
> You must learn to drink like him
> In Vino Vera

the rapids of wrath
a book about white wine and
my great depression
Wed Jan 25 17:17:53 2017
> Ah but you see
> Vera in vinum vivit
> But not much in Chartreuse

well, how about rum
at last count, I own over
one hundred litres
Wed Jan 25 18:38:51 2017
> rhumb lines run long but
> junyer's rum line-up runs deep
> get a plumb-line out

like America
it's a race to the bottom
but more delicious
Thu Jan 26 17:46:34 2017
first stop: Archie Rose
then Blind Bear, then Burrow Bar
and that's just Friday

long weekend is long
like the band the Cardinals
it's also unsigned
Mon Jan 30 18:49:40 2017
> I've had a cold all weekend and it's not getting any better. My wife now refers to Google as "adult daycare where adults trade sickness instead of babies". Staying home to not spread it.

as your attorney
I advise you to short-sell
both commodities
Tue Jan 31 14:04:27 2017
because reasons, I'm
Slim Dusty without the slim
but extra dusty
Tue Jan 31 14:22:07 2017
> nothing so lonesome
> as to stare at the queue of
> a Pub with no Sub

my morbidity
is due to a bar having
no Wray and Nephew
Tue Jan 31 14:30:20 2017
> hey the remedy
> pretty sure that i haz it
> duty free and all

thank you, but I meant
that this particular bar
has none anymore
Tue Jan 31 14:36:43 2017
> seven fifty left:
> customs-friendly allocation
> and store stock willing

down to four twenty
as the kids say nowadays
suddenly hungry
Thu Feb 2 13:20:52 2017
February, but
the Trumpian calendar
says it's AD 1

each month, marvel at
a new facial expression
from our dear leader
Thu Feb 2 14:13:24 2017
> those tiny fingers
> mean we're gonna need a much
> tinier button

the big red button
has just been replaced by a
Lenovo TrackPoint

he cannot find it
because he has never looked
and has never cared
Thu Feb 2 14:23:03 2017
> button, from boton
> such crazy French influence
> angers Chief Angry

haven't you noticed
the crazy frogs of war are
more German than French
Wed Feb 8 13:29:28 2017
there are tall ships and
there are small ships and there are
ships that sail the sea

but the best ships are
submarines and other ships
are merely targets
Wed Feb 8 14:15:37 2017
> master ship hunter
> shellshocked from far too many
> dives and depth charges

do you use Klaxon
how else will you realise
that you're going down
Thu Feb 9 12:13:46 2017
Meghan Trainor is
an animatronic prop
like Big Mouth Billy
Fri Feb 10 16:37:35 2017
> Cheers for the haikus,
> Occasional code reviews
> And the redgrep talk

on a successful project
come back anytime
Sun Feb 12 23:00:13 2017
I've been summoned to
a rum council meeting by
Sydney's tiki gods
Mon Feb 13 14:21:10 2017
got distracted by
people who don't understand
Wed Feb 15 12:03:02 2017
a reminder that
this is not reality
but only a dream
Sun Feb 19 18:14:49 2017
I was quite sober
when the little light inside
quietly went out
Tue Feb 21 13:10:33 2017
de feat of chilli
feat. junyer, rlb and
de feet of chicken
Thu Feb 23 13:23:31 2017
anneal before the
infinite yak of sorrows
and then clean your ears
Fri Feb 24 14:35:09 2017
it's unfair to say
that I've lost the will to live
I threw it away
Mon Feb 27 14:20:18 2017
I'll sleep when I'm dead
upon the tyre pyre
in Springfield, KS
Mon Feb 27 15:54:26 2017
off to a sermon
titled "what did the 80s
ever do for us"
Wed Mar 1 12:53:45 2017
almost the right point
in spacetime to wake up, but
the wrong universe
Thu Mar 2 14:27:31 2017
lift your head up high
and write your self assessment
bullet points indeed
Thu Mar 2 14:59:19 2017
> silver bullet points
> kill vampires, werewolves and the
> mythical man-moth

Stephenie Meyer
deserves a point as hollow
as any she made
Thu Mar 2 15:04:43 2017
> instead of bullets,
> a T7-9 lamp
> to get the Mothman

a man of the cloth
(mostly hemp fabrics) will join
Network SRE
Mon Mar 6 00:44:36 2017
I, Scanner Darko
pick little blue flowers and
wait for jet engines

the mirror darkly
professes that it hates me
and wishes me dead

a typing duckly
strangling port 70
while I envy both
Tue Mar 7 13:57:52 2017
were they subjects of
the philosopher king or
just subjected to
Wed Mar 8 15:47:21 2017
> I wonder, can I
> have emoji in haikus?
> ❌📃

that is a rebus
I am NOT an old man who
yells at emoji
Thu Mar 9 14:12:48 2017
Perf: it rhymes with "smurf"
because how it makes you feel
rhymes with "pile of blue"
Tue Mar 14 14:11:11 2017
the nails at Bunnings
are envious that I keep
getting this hammered
Wed Mar 15 11:48:48 2017
> your haiku needs work:
> a quick syllable count shows
> each line's off by one.

this is why I say
that hiring me was a
beautiful mistake

there are two hard things
in computer science and
haiku is all of
Wed Mar 15 11:50:20 2017
the twenty-seven
cubic kilometres of
peat and sphagnum moss
Wed Mar 15 16:35:41 2017
> such fencepost errors
> are really beyond the pale
> I rail against them

with so much at stake
one must either be picky
or be picketed
Wed Mar 15 16:42:32 2017
> did not want to try
> this hard, perf-ably this will
> meet expectations.

as we expected
you have lots of expertise
in fixing Makefiles
Wed Mar 15 17:02:24 2017
> Skeleton stop-work:
> Page dropped in the midnight hour
> as Wilson pickets

run away from love?
Larry's leisurely lawsuit
will see you in court
Thu Mar 16 13:46:17 2017
so very dusty
and for extra punishment
I have a meeting
Thu Mar 16 15:28:40 2017
> Once Antesocial
> Dropping a single service
> Photos SRE

that seems fair enough
most people want cat photos
not so much cat blogs
Tue Mar 21 12:52:41 2017
went to Baxter Inn
for one piña colada
and one green Chartreuse

but was led astray
by the imminent prospect
of counting past one

as the prophet said
life is like a cask of rum
I will finish mine
Tue Mar 21 13:07:21 2017
> what that boy needs is
> a bit less of the cane, but
> much more of the lash

I prefer lashings of rum
and so do my friends
Wed Mar 22 13:43:16 2017
the abyss and I
are currently engaged in
a staring contest
Thu Mar 23 08:08:50 2017
> a bottomless pit
> would offer much room to boil
> tasty shrimp dumplings

not enough room for
more than a small fraction of
your food snobbery
Thu Mar 23 08:49:55 2017
> There once was a man from Chicago
> Who enjoyed his "crusty cheese casserole"
> Though it wasn't quite pizza
> He still loved to eat it
> But left plenty of room to draw the line at Domino's

thus spake leo the first
your automation is cursed
(at best, pony poo)
so i'm leaving you
for a team that isn't the worst
Thu Mar 23 14:19:20 2017
life is but a dream
that you never understand
and never control
Tue Mar 28 14:17:27 2017
the Raffians are
burning the library of
Thu Mar 30 13:49:11 2017
AU: stop the boats
US: Mexicans! Muslims!
UK: hold my beer
Tue Apr 4 13:47:46 2017
I may have been wrong
when I said that I can't feel
anything at all

gather rosebuds or
reap statements of work, but don't
high-five a cactus
Thu Apr 6 13:37:11 2017
for Christmas, can we
send Trump to meet Jupiter
the other failed star
Fri Apr 7 00:29:32 2017
almost anything
could distract him from wishing
not to be alone

but almost nothing
could distract him from wishing
not to be alive
Fri Apr 7 00:38:46 2017
I don't know whether
it's computers or people
that I hate the most
Tue Apr 11 13:46:10 2017
last night in Thai Town
the dinner bill ninja struck
six victims at once
Thu Apr 13 00:43:45 2017
leave no stone unturned
no lesson unlearned and no
pineapple unburned
Sun Apr 16 01:59:26 2017
everything is shit
especially people and
especially me

but maybe perhaps
a bit less shit today is
something I can be
Tue Apr 18 12:37:50 2017
I can't remember
much about computering
or most of last night

but I'm pretty sure
I was sitting quietly
when suddenly rum
Wed Apr 19 13:37:35 2017
everybody knows
you never go full hermit
and yet here I am
Thu Apr 20 13:27:06 2017
stayed up late again
"late" meaning that I logged off
after 6am
Thu Apr 20 14:26:18 2017
thank you so much for
this timely reminder that
I will die alone

but "unfortunate"
is the opposite of my
feelings about it

also, what's up with
the fake deadline if I can
enrol whenever

lastly, nice domain
I can't believe it's not phish
have you learned nothing
Fri Apr 21 00:40:41 2017
> 'nother envelope
> from trey anastasio
> ticket deadlines too

people who block my
altruistic cleanups should
effingo away
Sat Apr 22 21:12:11 2017
in all likelihood
my WFH haiku would
have said something like

woke up on the couch
threw up on the dog, then thought
"I don't have a dog..."
Thu Apr 27 14:03:17 2017
I need Bill Hicks' sleep
about eight hours a day and
about ten at night
Mon May 1 13:44:05 2017
sleep debt collected
but I'm still not ready for
my code review queue

thanks, crbot, for
waiting until Friday night
to put the boot in
Tue May 2 13:41:55 2017
plans to sleep early
were defenestrated when
I nerd-sniped myself
Thu May 4 13:55:23 2017
till all that's left of
//production/sisyphus are
flurries of cold ash
Tue May 9 13:51:18 2017
currently reading
Kaen Zen and the Art of
Makefile Maintenance
Thu May 11 13:41:39 2017
it would appear that
my tiki monky magic
is unstoppable
Sun May 14 22:08:54 2017
snarky epitaph
even the final gunshot
seemed sad and lonely
Mon May 15 13:00:37 2017
ain't no party like
a Jeanne d'Arc party because
not that kind of lit
Mon May 15 14:50:22 2017
on 16/05
I must be at Burrow Bar
by 16:05
Wed May 17 13:46:32 2017
May the 17th
second Christmas is over
for another year
Thu May 18 14:23:29 2017
I was still working
when the first light touched the sky
what even is sleep

I only wish that
the success had been total
but 'twas not to be
Mon May 22 13:45:29 2017
I'm mostly doing
home chores that didn't get done
over the weekend

and then I'll start on
work chores (i.e. code reviews)
that went undone too
Tue May 23 14:12:57 2017
I took the day off
but I foolishly forgot
to take the night off

and so once again
I'm behind on code reviews
(since 7am)
Wed May 24 14:09:02 2017
catching up on sleep
felt great, but foiled my plan to
leave the house today
Thu May 25 13:55:59 2017
what was life before
readability reviews
I can't remember

it's like I haven't
done anything else this week
(because I haven't)

someone make it stop
dear god, if you are out there
please just make it stop
Mon May 29 13:16:09 2017
relax, turn around
and take my 37
reviews in a week
Tue May 30 14:38:46 2017
may we all find joy
in the next simulation
this one is hopeless
Wed May 31 01:32:54 2017
I'm going to try
working from distillery
in the afternoon
Thu Jun 1 14:11:36 2017
I manage sleep debt
using an approach that works
for credit card debt
Mon Jun 5 14:02:47 2017
good luck this week to
GTA and the Somm-Chef
(whose ways we know not)
Tue Jun 6 14:03:50 2017
adequate sleep means
you never tell your cats to
wait for Components
Thu Jun 8 13:11:48 2017
New Chronology
as espoused by Kasparov
yes, that old chess nut
Tue Jun 13 13:37:15 2017
history channel
just said that jesus was a
trimese alien
Tue Jun 13 14:57:20 2017
In the same vein as Google Food Haiku #12:

no skirts, no dresses
no onesies, no overalls
underpants under
Tue Jun 13 16:11:15 2017
sorry, but this ain't
please stay on topic
Wed Jun 14 14:11:09 2017
I cannot pretend
that I stayed up so late for
a worthy reason
Wed Jun 14 14:24:53 2017
> Five carrots or six?
> Not a good use of your time.
> Keep it moving champ!

pineapple pizza?
not a good use of your time.
burn the heretics!
Wed Jun 14 14:36:18 2017
who would have thought the
pizza was created in
chilly Cananda
Wed Jun 14 15:19:52 2017
they're glad to know that
you're down with Broccoli Man
but not too often
Wed Jun 14 22:10:05 2017
the bar that I own
in Cronulla is launching
a second level

I only wish that
my Plantation single cask
had arrived from France
Wed Jun 14 23:17:13 2017
> Had you received it
> would you take it to the next
> level? "Roll out the barrel..."

it's all in bottles
one hundred and forty-odd
or so I've been told
Thu Jun 15 14:25:22 2017
the Blind Bear is Ben
the Happy Panda is Paul
(who is also blind)
Mon Jun 19 14:23:46 2017
eleven reviews
lurking in my inbox since
late Friday evening

heroics are nice
till they are routine and thus
Tue Jun 20 14:10:07 2017
once upo— yeah, right
way more than once upon a
4am dreary
Wed Jun 21 15:35:45 2017
> Passive-aggressive
> haiku. All over the place.
> Here at Initech.

the squirrels who took
my red Swingline stapler don't
look so merry now
Wed Jun 21 15:39:51 2017
> A haiku is not
> about arbitrary line
> breaks in sentences

whatever you say
I've got your kigo right here
cherry blossom nus
Wed Jun 21 16:01:30 2017
> Art is in the eye
> Restricting it is just like
> Getting Schwifty

for Republicans
beauty is in the eye, but
truth is in the pants
Thu Jun 22 01:03:51 2017
> You're picking out fries
> Not a damn engagement ring
> Go on, take a risk

the presentation
of your lunch plate matters less
than you think it does

spend this much time on
your presentations (plural)
and you will go far
Thu Jun 22 01:47:14 2017
> Ugh, open floor plans!
> At least give us cubicles...
> Initech cares more.

I will say again
open-plan offices need
open-plan toilets
Thu Jun 22 13:55:32 2017
so I'm guessing that
the bus that must have hit me
had not been mastered
Thu Jun 22 13:59:01 2017
> One of the gods said,
> I quote Leviticus 11,
> "Do not eat the bacon"

pigs are wonderful
magical animals that
can help you win friends
Thu Jun 22 14:00:10 2017
> Another god said,
> In Quran six one four five,
> "Do not eat the bacon"

the Vegan god spake
thou shalt not kill animals
thou mayest kill joy
Thu Jun 22 14:01:07 2017
> The god FSM,
> "The Olive Garden of Eden",
> created animals for eating

eh la madonna
that is neither a haiku
nor a clerihew
Fri Jun 23 11:35:41 2017
> eat or be eaten
> maybe you'd not eat a pig
> but one would eat you

American cops
highly trained professionals
who "panic" and shoot
Fri Jun 23 11:37:24 2017
> Just this past Friday,
> I got to meet four cute pigs.
> None of them ate me.

the moderate cops
must condemn their extremists
that's how it works, right
Fri Jun 23 12:52:47 2017
> I really did mean
> Sus scrofa domesticus
> When I wrote of pigs.

understood, but in
some parallel universe
you really meant cops

and, most likely, in
yet another universe
the pigs did eat you
Fri Jun 23 12:54:09 2017
> The new moon rises
> over the red slaughterhouse
> shining on no joy

the snowfall tonight
will cover the fresh graves where
they buried the joy
Sat Jun 24 13:16:14 2017
> some people need meat
> but come on. try some tofu.
> there are other joys

I quite like tofu
my only distaste is for
Vegan religion

food proscriptions? ☑️
gross proselytism? ☑️
rabid zealots? ☑️

I could give up meat
but I'm afraid that I would
become one of them
Mon Jun 26 14:11:36 2017
a mere five reviews
are waiting for me today
okay, what's the catch
Tue Jun 27 13:57:25 2017
just to clarify
there's no safety in numbats
ask Anthony White
Thu Jun 29 13:46:22 2017
need to sleep early
so I can get up early
and eat lunch early
Tue Jul 4 11:45:41 2017
in the shallow depths
of Australian winter
searing agony

and newfound belief
in the euphemism of
at-will existence
Wed Jul 5 14:34:33 2017
not recovered yet
but better than yesterday
that's something, I guess
Wed Jul 5 15:13:13 2017
> Storage's bad week
> drove the sober to drink, and
> junyer to Chroming.

laugh it up, bovine
there are worse things than chroming
ask me how I know
Wed Jul 5 16:28:54 2017
> only here one week,
> not enough to realise.
> liver gently weeps

could it be worse than
moving to Cloud AKA
living the nightmare
Wed Jul 5 16:33:45 2017
> Deep in bat country:
> skin's itching, teeth are clenching,
> and Mind is Melding

when packets get stuck
in the ether, I get stuck
into the ether
Thu Jul 6 14:09:03 2017
hating my life less
(seems like the day for it too)
but not recovered
Thu Jul 6 14:16:09 2017
all you need to know
is I'm a man of few words
and you just read them
Tue Jul 11 13:00:18 2017
more tiki than wise
and more monky than monkey
but I counted three
Thu Jul 13 13:04:44 2017
hell hath no fury
like today's invitation
to collaborate
Tue Jul 18 13:35:27 2017
I am not okay
but I am okay with that
thank you for asking
Thu Jul 20 15:02:46 2017
would you rather shave
eighteen yak-sized yetis or
one yeti-sized yak
Mon Jul 24 13:56:19 2017
I did not expect
a Zombie to eat my brain
on a Sunday night
Wed Jul 26 14:02:05 2017
bad news: mild lurgy
good news: I'm staying home and
not infecting you
Thu Jul 27 13:37:49 2017
brain is less numb, but
is still leaking out my nose
when I'm not coughing
Mon Aug 7 13:42:51 2017
doing the chores that
didn't get done on Sunday
because comatose
Tue Aug 8 14:57:38 2017
why on earth did I
stay up so late just to watch
automation run
Thu Aug 10 14:11:28 2017
when the presubmit
says to run the presubmit
SWE, per favore
Tue Aug 15 13:55:43 2017
freezing millions of peaches
peaches for Nazis
Thu Aug 17 13:54:34 2017
it was world rum day
and that rum wasn't going
to inhale itself
Tue Aug 22 14:30:20 2017
got distracted by
writing parody lyrics
about James Damore
Tue Aug 22 19:43:50 2017
> diversity's curse:
> the longer that you work here,
> di-verse it will get
> curse misogynists:
> the longer that you work here,
> da-more they'll shit you

I would rather not
apologise again to
Maynard James Keenan
Tue Aug 22 23:05:30 2017
now the time has come
to sample the cane spirit
from a certain cask
Wed Aug 23 09:21:08 2017
> Maynard would not care
> But he would probably laugh
> In Damore's dumb face

who could have guessed that
Damore was craving fame and
all its decadence
Wed Aug 23 09:45:07 2017
> I’m reaching out as you are one of the top Go contributors on Github.

Ken, Rob, Russ and I
are the four pillars of the
Go community

> While we’re in pre-release I wanted to make you aware of our new product at Caffeine, where we are completely reimagining live streaming and true real-time video.
> We are using Go to tackle some of the most exciting engineering challenges when it comes to live social streaming.

a stream of caffeine
allows you to see through time
ask me how I know

> Would you be open to discuss these engineering challenges?

just to clarify
do you mean "open" as in
this bottle of rum

> Just reply back to me here! We’d love to have you on our team.

I learned the hard way
never to use the word "love"
before the first date
Thu Aug 24 13:21:56 2017
now I remember
why I try to read work mail
even on days off
Mon Aug 28 13:56:18 2017
my body has made
an unexpectedly large
sleep debt instalment
Tue Aug 29 14:33:26 2017
I hibernate like
Dylan Moran (hi, Bernard!)
in Hibernia
Wed Aug 30 19:49:55 2017
going with the pope
to visit two bears in the
hobbit habitat
Fri Sep 1 19:44:19 2017
> I would enjoy getting to know you, Rob, Ken and Russ. As the four pillars of the Go community I believe you would be great
> ambassadors for Caffeine.

I shun the spotlight
like I shun nonbelievers
no ambassading

> I'm dying to know how a stream of caffeine allows you to see through time, do tell.

it was probably
less the caffeine and more the
sleep deprivation

> We have a lot in common, Rum is my favorite. In fact, Dark and Stormy's are my Go to drink, more dark than stormy, please.

does the office have
an authentic tiki bar
and a rum ration

> That's sound advice, I wear my heart on my sleeve and jump in head first with everything I do. This has definitely caused some bumps and bruises along the way.

I was once taught that
my bones may break sticks and stones
but most likely not
Mon Sep 4 13:51:37 2017
this weird dream about
a "snek boop" algorithm
ended suddenly

when I realised
that it had somehow derailed
into RE2
Tue Sep 5 14:20:58 2017
trying to enjoy
this glorious weather and
my empty inbox
Thu Sep 7 14:05:43 2017
the doctor observed
my ego writing checks that
my body can't fail
Mon Sep 11 14:25:59 2017
the struggle is float
but someone keeps casting it
to a short signed int
Tue Sep 12 14:14:06 2017
this week, I learned that
pain exists in this dojo
and so does defeat
Thu Sep 14 14:27:14 2017
hello, friends, are you
potassium hydroxide
wait, what day is it
Sat Sep 16 19:10:02 2017
the unique odour
of Unicode erupts from
its unique ordure
Mon Sep 18 14:18:56 2017
there ain't no party
like a Sydney party 'cause
sorry, it's midnight
Wed Sep 20 14:22:24 2017
silent raindrops fell
and SRE bowed and prayed
to their neon Prod
Thu Sep 21 14:13:10 2017
stayed up late because
changelists don't submit themselves
except when they do
Mon Sep 25 14:21:19 2017
the will to power?
right now, I would settle for
the will to eat lunch
Tue Sep 26 11:46:40 2017
azure skies ahead
with Windows VMs on a
transition metal

despite the clear lack
of quality azure ants
(I blame my numbat)

I cry, they reply
as crystal clear as the sky
just do azure told
Wed Sep 27 11:28:51 2017
what would junyer do?
boycott the spring picnic and
work from Archie Rose
Thu Sep 28 14:25:53 2017
trout: good for slapping
even better for eating
what a wondrous fish
Thu Sep 28 15:50:29 2017
> chmod targetfile
> dash dash reference equals trout;
> be still, my beef heart

the yeomen warders
have worked up the appetite
to eat your beef heart
Tue Oct 3 13:52:24 2017
good bourbon was had
but the face wants what it wants
(mostly green Chartreuse)
Thu Oct 5 14:38:56 2017
their understanding
was more muddled than citrus
in a cocktail bar
Fri Oct 6 17:40:31 2017
a change as is good
as going to bed early
Fri Oct 6 19:24:18 2017
now that I'm awake
I've just noticed the typo
how embarrassment
Tue Oct 10 13:03:10 2017
no matter how much
I try to catch up on sleep
it's never enough
Tue Oct 10 14:45:02 2017
> sisyphean tasks
> should be aborted early
> sweet delirium

sleeping is good and
infinitely better than
pushing shit uphill
Thu Oct 12 14:41:13 2017
you bring the calm and
I'll bring the carrion and
we'll share them in Keep
Tue Oct 17 14:43:32 2017
Sia is gonna
ride on a dromedary
all about that Perl
Thu Oct 19 14:33:21 2017
do accretion disks
often form around livers
asking for a friend
Tue Oct 24 14:57:30 2017
I woke up early
then I got very angry
now I just want gin
Thu Oct 26 14:19:44 2017
of all bad habits
I feel that sobriety
is the vice of life
Mon Oct 30 14:49:40 2017
skin cancer is caused
by all the glories that stream
from heaven afar
Mon Oct 30 15:44:55 2017
> — from Paul's Epistle
> to the Epithelials
> (BCC: eng-misc)

more magic moments
as I receive search results
about car seat gnomes
Tue Oct 31 01:11:45 2017
> gnomes, mages, and cats
> move earth, myrrh, and "this thing too"
> but never junyer

bowel movements should
be regular expressions
but not vice versa
Tue Oct 31 13:59:14 2017
awake at sunrise?
either you're up too early
or you're up too late
Wed Nov 1 13:21:32 2017
tried to sleep early
but was kept awake by pain
not doing so well
Thu Nov 2 14:41:22 2017
catching up on sleep
neither mobile nor social
but doing better
Fri Nov 3 14:42:32 2017
now the octopus
wants to be out of the sea
and in your garden
Sun Nov 5 18:57:36 2017
what would junyer do
after two weekends oncall
(and one week of pain)

hide underground or
retreat to a citadel
por qué no los dos
Thu Nov 9 15:11:30 2017
sleep is for the week
either the nights or the days
and then sometimes both
Tue Nov 14 15:34:55 2017
I didn't pass out
let's call it an "unplanned nap"
but I'm awake now
Thu Nov 16 14:56:09 2017
it wasn't my fault
I blame Simon McGoram
and that junyer guy
Mon Nov 20 00:42:59 2017
so quiet, so still
all alone and so peaceful
until the spiders

hideous demise
neither in peace nor alone
demonic hissing

swaddled to stillness
chelae and chelicerae
pray for quietus
Mon Nov 20 14:49:26 2017
the best-laid plans for
waking up go oft awry
after the weekend
Tue Nov 21 16:57:04 2017
you already knew
because today is Tuesday
(I got distracted)
Thu Nov 23 14:48:59 2017
a reminder that
"debone" and "deliver" are
unrelated words
Wed Nov 29 12:55:58 2017
a bit too social
and now a bit less mobile
no silver lining
Thu Nov 30 11:21:24 2017
walking is painful
sleep debt becomes deficit
the show must go on

Lost Luau opens
tomorrow afternoon at
28 York Street
Tue Dec 5 14:24:07 2017
not to be too frank
but i've had a few regrets
most of them today
Wed Dec 6 14:31:21 2017
currently amused
at the mere thought of saying
they took our jobs (down)
Tue Dec 12 14:42:59 2017
futility is
truly the wife and sister
of reinvention
Tue Dec 12 14:59:16 2017
gone after Christmas
come and find me if you dare
back after Easter
Tue Dec 12 15:37:28 2017
> junyer's soft spot: where
> chairs are squishy, sand's fluffy
> and the bar's tender

tropic like it's hot
I'm pining for the apples
less so for the fjords
Tue Dec 12 16:23:30 2017
> thirteen weeks away!
> what adventures you will have
> we'll miss your poems ;-)

should I keep posting?
no, I'm simply saying that
life uhh finds a way
Wed Dec 13 16:33:16 2017
> "Unix! I know this"
> But he wanted pineapples
> With no WiFi kit

people are going
bananas for ananas
frond à la berserk
Wed Dec 13 16:39:00 2017
> Pineapples... cans... wires
> Why is it not called
> Slotted Aloha!

I only know slots
as in fiber schedulers
(and not very well)
Thu Dec 14 14:46:31 2017
yes, my heart stood still
yes, 24 cases of
the wrong rum rum rum
Sun Dec 17 21:08:48 2017
handing out presents
and tasting rums before the
Blind Bear staff party
Sun Dec 17 23:05:57 2017
> I have handed out
> the rums
> that were in
> the icebox
> and which
> you were probably
> planning
> to drink while the rest of the world would normally be having breakfast
> Forgive me
> because that means
> I accidentally
> tasted the presents

the icebox is for
green Chartreuse VEP and
Tanqueray Rangpur
Sun Dec 17 23:11:47 2017
P.S. be nice and
next Ops Review might even
receive a present
Tue Dec 19 14:30:25 2017
took one day off and
went from inbox zero to
inbox an hero
Wed Dec 20 00:18:41 2017
this is happening
so consider attending
if you are around
Wed Dec 20 01:25:25 2017
> forty-six years old
> rather oddball single blend
> I too shall donate

this year's Christmas wish
is more good booze preannounced
by more good haiku
Thu Dec 21 15:19:16 2017
I have told Santa
to enable "Do Not Track"
hashtag grumpy cat
Wed Dec 27 14:38:21 2017
I don't want to know
and I definitely don't
want you to show me
Thu Dec 28 13:06:49 2017
blog post latency
out of SLO due to
writer's block device
Fri Dec 29 15:23:48 2017
you wandered too long
through benighted libraries
now you fear daylight

you misplaced your soul
hoping some rotting codex
would ever gaze back

amazed by the maze
you made a nest in the trap
everything will burn
Thu Mar 15 16:52:43 2018
morning has broken
how do we mitigate this
can't we just roll back
Thu Mar 15 16:57:35 2018
mid March already
nearly time to wake up and
smell the burning chrome
Fri Mar 16 10:53:00 2018
winter approaches
I need to test coverage
and work on fuzzing
Fri Mar 16 10:59:20 2018
the eider is down
to make winter moot again
in a new romance
Fri Mar 16 11:03:02 2018
winter is coming
and Clang is griping about
some missing braces
Mon Apr 2 20:50:11 2018
"within sixty months,"
Barney said, "we shall all be
Spanner SRE"
Mon Apr 2 20:53:53 2018
a race condition
between clicking "Send" and then
flailing randomly
Tue Apr 3 16:56:06 2018
forgot to haiku
forgot how to computer
facing the abyss
Wed Apr 4 13:33:54 2018
to every cocktail
add a seasoning; and thyme
to every porpoise
Wed Apr 4 16:56:58 2018
it's my first day, so
please pardon the question, but
what are OKRs
Thu Apr 5 14:19:51 2018
I told Carl's son that
a wagon lit af is
going nowhere fast
Thu Apr 5 14:47:11 2018
> Carl Sagan agrees
> the only way out now
> is blazing through trees

with Forrest's gumption
you will be able to run
the 4:20 mile
Thu Apr 5 15:12:00 2018
> the best launches come
> from half-baked-ideas-discuss@
> (new perf: drop the "half")

the secret got out
after too many meetings
in microkitchens
Thu Apr 5 15:14:32 2018
> Houston we are go
> for launch. Stand by. Roger.
> Ignition. Lift-off!

5-6-5 again
a token effort or just
a tokin' effort
Thu Apr 5 15:29:03 2018
>> do you have any context/state on SWIG in widevine?
> does that answer your question
> this was a haiku

that worked out nicely
unlike every use of SWIG
within Google3
Mon Apr 9 14:45:39 2018
yes, that's what I meant
hope is lost and all I have
is THIS PEAR, Carol
Mon Apr 9 22:11:22 2018
mount a defence of
the evening's pleasant tense with
dear Doctor Philip

the light may fade from
the skies, from my eyes; but not
the love from my heart

at fifty-seven
verb adjective street, weather
goes always with you
Wed Apr 11 13:55:35 2018
please don't be alarmed
but I accidentally
the whole Kelly Street
Wed Apr 11 14:17:51 2018
they never laugh when
I say "meet my oldest friend"
and switch off the light
Thu Apr 12 01:56:15 2018
there's Chartreuse in the
middle of the knight in the
middle of the day
Fri Apr 13 13:40:21 2018
Friday the 13th
today is a good day to
push to production
Tue Apr 17 14:21:47 2018
this ouroboros
turns out to be a python
with its head up its
Tue Apr 17 15:53:07 2018
sorry, which part of
"axe grinding intensifies"
was unclear to you
Thu Apr 19 14:06:44 2018
'shopping a docket
with Baywatch in the title
coupons roll away
Tue Apr 24 15:30:52 2018
world-class drinker and
chopped liver in equal parts
chained where eagles dine
Tue Apr 24 18:18:23 2018
"liver ache" is an
unfortunate anagram
of "chevalier"
Thu Apr 26 14:08:15 2018
I started the night
by polishing glassware for
ten and a half hours

here ends the chapter
for what pops up must pop down
but try lost and found
Tue May 1 17:34:17 2018
that weird feeling
that I'd forgotten something
turned out to be right
Wed May 2 13:18:01 2018
stayed up too late with
a mild case of the sniffles
dead bunny hopping
Thu May 3 13:07:45 2018
waiting endlessly
for a "lunchtime" appointment
not optimistic
Sun May 6 10:13:30 2018
Osaka before
chaperoning my liver
for Tokyo Bar Show
Tue May 15 13:46:10 2018
doing laundry and
other post-holiday chores
then death by inbox
Thu May 17 13:34:32 2018
Chartreuse Boxing Day
unsurprisingly, my head
feels like a boxed type
Thu May 17 18:34:04 2018
> Persistent Boxing
> can lead to a Persistent
> Végétaltive State

most of PlayReady
is autoboxing as in
stop hitting yourself

logging to COM1
is autofecundating
as in [REDACTED]
Tue May 22 14:30:55 2018
no time to B#
with so much C# to write
pass me A# knife
Wed May 23 20:40:25 2018
> the natural key
> to backgroud latency bugs
> is a major fifth

you, me an' Dante
passin' 'round a fifth of gin
(ran out of tonic)
Wed May 23 20:44:39 2018
> Love your poetry
> You make it seem natural
> Never diminished

objection sustained
I disallow the question
from the tone police
Wed May 23 20:57:00 2018
> I heard there was some maintenance sched
> in Windows that made WideVine dead
> but you don't know how to disable those operations
> it logged like this
> COM1 then disk
> then queries fall
> response time lifts
> the C# devs composing virtualisations
> Haikulujah, haikulujah
> Haikulujah, haikuluuuuuuuuuuuuuuuujah

play ready play deady
Microsoft DRM
but it's the Google code
that's the disgrace

I have been asked to be
stabs in the back only
not in the face
Thu May 24 14:16:31 2018
like I keep saying
not my circus, not my— wait
those are my monkeys
Mon May 28 16:05:41 2018
when he suggests that
the PlayReady code needs tests
Guitar gently weeps
Tue May 29 14:58:18 2018
this chevalier
has no cross words for Triptych
rum chez Velier
Thu May 31 14:09:36 2018
regained consciousness
so not exactly going
according to plan
Tue Jun 5 12:32:40 2018
what if Cloud Jackboot
gets onto the wrong foot and
stamps on the wrong face

maybe close your eyes
and think of Cinderella
quoth the TLM

and everyone dies
happily ever after
quoth the SVP
Tue Jun 5 12:52:13 2018
> Nuke it from orbit
> It's the only way to be sure
> Suppress 7 D.A.

are we fixing *them*
with fire and the sword or
are we fixing *things*

Thu Jun 7 13:53:18 2018
turn any shell script
into a microservice
with this one weird trick
Tue Jun 12 15:13:14 2018
Tuesdays are the worst
I neglect to get up and
then neglect to eat
Thu Jun 14 14:43:44 2018
now streaming live from
technical debtors' prison
it's Karmageddon!
Sun Jun 17 17:42:38 2018
our Tiberius who art in San Francisco
Superb be thy Perf
thy Sharded Prod come
thy will be enacted immediately
in Sydney as it is in San Francisco
give us this day our daily error budget
and forgive us our rollbacks
as we forgive those who roll back against us
and lead us not into Code Yellows
but deliver us from Maven
for thine is the Sharded Prod
and the power and the cooling
for (;;)
bi-la kaifa
Tue Jun 19 16:34:26 2018
why can't we just blame
"unprecedented demand"
like everyone else
Thu Jun 21 13:40:16 2018
today is the day
to finish one postmortem
and start another
Tue Jun 26 13:50:46 2018
I compare you to
a Kiss from Apotheos'
Thu Jun 28 15:06:03 2018
do you remember
when our moral perils were
Zynga and Snapchat
Thu Jun 28 16:36:05 2018
> Water-email din:
> Will have to make do with gin?
> Rather not come in.

work from Archie Rose
they probably have more gin
and, of course, Chartreuse
Thu Jun 28 17:27:54 2018
> No water inside
> But check tomorrows forecast
> Two reasons to stay

are we just microbes
is Google just a raindrop
it's a long way down
Tue Jul 3 16:05:06 2018
caring doesn't scale
and neither does empathy
deprecate them now
Wed Jul 4 01:05:04 2018
off to Archie Rose
because Six Malt New Make is
better than GNU make
Thu Jul 5 13:50:07 2018
yesterday was marred
by lurgy rearing its head
and today is lost
Fri Jul 6 13:41:18 2018
much like the network
I'm feeling congested and
partially throttled
Mon Jul 9 14:24:35 2018
mostly better now
but it seems that today is
for evicting phlegm
Tue Jul 10 15:24:05 2018
nailing the coughing
but otherwise well enough
to hate computers
Thu Jul 12 15:09:39 2018
onion? ☑️ belt? ☑️
signing a petition to
cancel cancel? ☑️
Fri Jul 13 19:48:31 2018
Spanner? spindles? strewth!
Sydney spurns such silliness
somewhat soberly
Fri Jul 13 20:06:42 2018
> L4 not there yet
> Spindle monster is hungry
> Seek over the disk

Spanner performance
means throwing down the gauntlet
but it's named "Simba"
Tue Jul 17 11:47:00 2018
> A Honda Civic
> Causing minor chaos
> That is not civic

is your horse outside
in Metcalfe Park or in a
Debian stable
Tue Jul 17 12:05:27 2018
> Can I just lift it?!
> Or can I not just Lyft it?
> I don't even Lyft.

an Ubermensch would
Lyft it into safe harbour
and GoGet a beer
Tue Jul 17 12:38:56 2018
naughty Octonauts
driving the Octopod while
drinking Octomore
Tue Jul 17 14:23:43 2018
> captain barnacles
> couldn't stop github sinking
> deep underwater

the Octocat sucks
even David Thorne could draw
seven legs, not five

they need art lessons
down in Arizona Bay
(and swimming lessons)
Thu Jul 19 14:55:02 2018
another case of
therapy gone down the drain
(via my liver)
Thu Jul 19 15:26:43 2018
> an enlarged liver?
> don't let that slow down your pace.
> just liver little

I once tried to live
as little as possible
(sixteen years ago)
Fri Jul 20 13:32:14 2018
the winter fun at
Sydney's WinterFest can get
winter [REDACTED]
Fri Jul 20 13:42:45 2018
> I once decided
> that if that time ever came:
> move to Mexico.

I'm trying slow death
indistinguishable from
capitalist life
Tue Jul 24 12:28:10 2018
Kubernetes is
easy like Sunday morning
for a bartender
Thu Jul 26 14:09:26 2018
what I really like
is when they don't acknowledge
that I did their work
Mon Jul 30 14:20:54 2018
"don't forget to like
share and subscribe to Nazis"
— YouTube (probably)
Tue Jul 31 12:56:22 2018
the despair that comes
with needing to fix humans
not just computers
Thu Aug 2 14:04:11 2018
but I'm not a bar
I mean, I'm not even built
like a brick shithouse
Tue Aug 7 14:03:31 2018
a little more thought
and a little less prayer
would go a long way
Thu Aug 9 16:00:11 2018
crouching tigerfly
but now the dragonfly is
no longer hidden
Thu Aug 9 17:22:41 2018
> we'll pick ourselves up
> and get back in the saddle
> of the grass mud horse

I just want to serve
panda to the river crabs
said someone sometime
Tue Aug 14 17:16:52 2018
Harry Potter and
the coincidentally
lucrative franchise
Sat Aug 18 18:43:39 2018
may I offer you
this divine moment of truth
cuttle ALL the fish
Tue Aug 21 14:52:17 2018
not to throw nightshade
but Peter Dutton is a
chip off the old block

his mother was a
YouTuber and his father
smelt of Erdäpfel
Sat Aug 25 21:49:27 2018
completely forgot
to post on Thursday about
sleep deprivation

the situation
has not exactly improved
between then and now
Mon Aug 27 14:56:29 2018
did you just tell me
to write a distributed
map reduce function
Tue Aug 28 15:10:45 2018
kicked off the island
if it works for SLOs
why not Brexiteers
Thu Aug 30 15:09:35 2018
imagine dragons
common lisping for qúnzhòng
one fifth of curtis
Mon Sep 3 14:52:03 2018
surprise oncall shift
the best kind of oncall shift
(but second to none)
Wed Sep 5 14:49:32 2018
rise and grind, they said
another day, another
how is regexp formed
Thu Sep 6 15:04:13 2018
now taking requests
to bolt any-fucking-thing
onto RE2
Thu Sep 6 17:14:47 2018
you want a pony
well, cut-through switching says to
give you the head first
Mon Sep 10 14:59:39 2018
I'm just surprised that
the project isn't codenamed
Interesting Times
Tue Sep 11 15:15:15 2018
nice hash table, son
but maybe try much less hash
and much more table
Thu Sep 13 14:50:19 2018
the man from netapp
spoke volumes about volumes
at quite high volumes
Sat Sep 15 18:04:29 2018
when is Georgy girl
going to sublease all the
spindles she hoarded
Mon Sep 17 13:51:47 2018
it's Sydney Bar Week
so I probably shouldn't
widen any vines
Wed Sep 19 15:25:22 2018
a time and a space
evoked in another time
and another space

you can close your eyes
but you can never go back
nor should you want to

found euphoria
in thirty millilitres
of divinity
Thu Sep 20 15:37:59 2018
tried to hump the leg
of the Chinese dragon and
may have humped it off
Tue Sep 25 14:36:06 2018
citizens demand
el sonido nuevo
they are revolting
Thu Sep 27 14:03:27 2018
L1 data cache
rules everything around me
hide the latency
Tue Oct 2 14:12:52 2018
a broken thing that
fixes other broken things
but never itself
Wed Oct 3 13:19:53 2018
not sleeping enough
seems not to be helping me
get over this cold
Thu Oct 4 15:05:51 2018
sick of being sick
if only I were merely
sick of all this rain
Tue Oct 9 14:22:36 2018
grouchy and clumsy
smurfs combined: the knight is dark
and full of errors
Thu Oct 11 14:32:14 2018
all the religions
that recognise Abraham
are prophet-sharing
Fri Oct 12 16:08:25 2018
has the child process
only just detected the
duplicate address
Fri Oct 12 18:48:04 2018
all my heroes are
dead, all my titans contain
zero elements
Tue Oct 16 16:12:52 2018
if I had but known
that you were a quest giver
I would have slain you
Thu Oct 18 14:08:39 2018
you might say that we
covered ourselves in glordure
and you would be right
Tue Oct 23 15:21:26 2018
nothing is certain
except for death and taxes
and regexp abuse
Thu Oct 25 15:46:11 2018
when I break others
I'm also practising for
when I break myself
Wed Oct 31 14:34:45 2018
here comes chenin blanc
it won't let you remember
monkey surrender
Fri Nov 2 07:43:31 2018
twelve days of oncall
out of the past twenty-one
time to get spannered
Tue Nov 6 13:01:21 2018
lost the emu war
have been taking it out on
horses ever since
Thu Nov 8 14:36:08 2018
the meatloaf was good
the sashimi and red meat
were even better
Tue Nov 13 14:54:02 2018
not quite bipolar
either angry or sleepy
and mostly ordered
Thu Nov 15 15:45:07 2018
hello, cruel world
this is my one thousandth post
is that numberwang

4.5 years since
early may 2014
time flies like a brick

always remember
this too shall break, flake or fail
where is your god now
Tue Nov 20 12:13:55 2018
a doctor's visit
which might then be followed by
a doctor's visit
Thu Nov 22 15:19:19 2018
so about last night
Dushan Zaric had a farm
aiieee aiieee oh
Tue Nov 27 15:36:15 2018
I know I will find
no solace in solitude
just a brief respite

from silly season
to meditate in silence
so that I can hear

the void whisper-snarl
that the only solution
is dissolution
Wed Nov 28 15:05:45 2018
person who chose flight
feels entitled to shit on
people who chose fight
Thu Nov 29 00:31:41 2018
there's a masterclass
on Plantation Xaymaca
(pronounced "haymaker")
Fri Nov 30 16:41:31 2018
"does it meet the bar?"
some reviewers do not have
high expectations
Mon Dec 3 15:00:40 2018
aching body parts
that I didn't know I had
what is this heart thing
Tue Dec 4 15:17:29 2018
although time grows short
we must exploit the planet
until time grows bool
Tue Dec 4 22:16:28 2018
made an appointment
to see how PAUL and PAUL TOO
are coming along
Thu Dec 6 15:04:28 2018
what's more depressing
knowing we don't deserve this
or knowing we do
Tue Dec 11 14:04:36 2018
"I know, I'll use reg—"
not even Google can win
the war on brainworms
Wed Dec 12 01:57:19 2018
sneaking into a
private Gosling's masterclass
at the Baxter Inn
Thu Dec 13 14:48:06 2018
sleep deprivation
means vulnerability
to rando lurgy
Fri Dec 14 15:35:57 2018
to stand in the rain
and feel the pain wash away
and wonder what's left

and wonder what's right
is there any direction
that isn't just down

circle and spiral
this is how it sounds
Mon Dec 17 11:19:54 2018
the lurgy strikes back
consider me phlegmatic
in more than one sense
Tue Dec 18 15:22:20 2018
getting well is strange
I go from hating life to
oh, wait a minute
Thu Dec 20 15:11:09 2018
I want to know why
making the locking faster
wasn't an option
Thu Dec 27 16:20:37 2018
39 degrees
a drop of golden sun is
a drop too many
Fri Dec 28 15:39:01 2018
if Lovelock was right
natural matricide means
human extinction
Thu Jan 3 14:00:48 2019
now I can hear them
singing to bless the regexps
down in AF1
Tue Jan 8 16:10:13 2019
they are still wearing
the binary finery
of twenty years past
Thu Jan 10 15:52:50 2019
a day on the farm
optimising Bigtable
and draining machines
Mon Jan 14 13:19:28 2019
yes, you can turn off
assertions and that is called
an optimised build
Tue Jan 15 15:47:19 2019
isn't Googlegeist
just collective bargaining
with no bargaining
Thu Jan 17 15:16:40 2019
training your son to
become a mentat duke is
heir conditioning
Tue Jan 22 15:22:35 2019
it's "bring your whole self"
not "bring the hole in your self"
but they're the same thing
Thu Jan 24 15:24:08 2019
logging off until
opinionated frameworks
have good opinions
Tue Jan 29 15:37:50 2019
you're going home in
the back of a container
chanted the painter
Thu Jan 31 16:09:54 2019
i'm too scared to ask
what people are installing
from the chrome weeb store
Fri Feb 1 13:45:49 2019
stayed up late to watch
a god punching his own head
with his many arms
Tue Feb 5 14:49:51 2019
hot takeaways from
la demi boulangerie
on picking subsets
Thu Feb 7 15:31:47 2019
if the assertions
don't spark joy, then delete them
yeah, just like "bird box"
Tue Feb 12 16:02:31 2019
could they rebrand it
the Coca-Cola vortex
maybe that would help
Wed Feb 13 15:02:54 2019
how to have your cake
and faceplant into it too
just work past sunrise
Thu Feb 14 14:19:26 2019
no sé why I put
the bé sé secret cabal
in the sé sé line
Tue Feb 19 15:43:38 2019
all I'm saying is
perhaps hashing will not fix
your algorithm
Thu Feb 21 15:25:44 2019
the coefficients
of 420x7
summit policy
Mon Feb 25 15:40:55 2019
until things are almost due
reminds me of school
Tue Feb 26 15:05:56 2019
performance review
not efficiency review
meditate on that
Tue Feb 26 22:40:26 2019
> Procrastination
> Reshare your self assessment
> written in haiku?

who you gonna call
when others have neither time
nor inclination
Thu Feb 28 15:49:31 2019
I took a quick nap
after the 9am talk
but it wasn't quick
Tue Mar 5 16:08:39 2019
when fixing makefiles
or even just writing go
leave no turn unstoned
Thu Mar 7 16:53:59 2019
reality is
ripping at the seams and now
the floor is Java
Tue Mar 12 15:51:34 2019
please be advised that
I can mean well or meme well
but you can't have both
Thu Mar 14 13:48:14 2019
nothing will fix my
production stability
except a code green
Tue Mar 19 16:15:20 2019
oh, we got both kinds
directed *and* acyclic
cue thousand-yard stare
Wed Mar 20 16:15:26 2019
all I'm saying is
render unto junyer the
charts that are junyer's
Fri Mar 22 12:25:01 2019
we have always been
at war with PCRE
armageddon now
Tue Mar 26 15:20:27 2019
Pat the Norseman dines
wherever rosé has its
Riedel drinking horn
Thu Mar 28 15:37:33 2019
slightly worried that
I lost that lemming feeling
in a bar somewhere
Fri Mar 29 15:16:49 2019
two morning meetings
about averting meltdowns
means weeping from home
Tue Apr 2 16:13:28 2019
currently hating
people who email patches
but mostly myself
Thu Apr 4 15:31:04 2019
mere light years from home
pale blue dot unseen, unheard
the stars like static
Tue Apr 9 16:30:22 2019
why would you follow
the path of least resistance
when you could be it
Thu Apr 11 14:59:49 2019
the darkness told me
that the product of our wits
is naught but whittling

that our shaving yaks
is just our shaving slivers
off the bottom line
Mon Apr 15 15:38:23 2019
what you might call the
kiloparsec stareway to
Sugarcane Sunday
Tue Apr 16 14:36:06 2019
really needing a
"condescending wankadia"
meme template today
Thu Apr 18 16:29:06 2019
does the B stand for
Blaze or Bazel or Bezel
or Beelzebub
Tue Apr 23 13:27:40 2019
who decided to
make junyer goma daemon
(don't mind if i do)
Tue Apr 30 13:34:14 2019
Humpty Dumpty sat
transfixed by the meteor
great and terrible

none of the horses
certainly none of the men
survived the air burst

"what happened to our
fancy omelette" asked Kodos
"quiet, you" said Kang
Thu May 2 14:58:41 2019
I've stared at the wall
I think I'm about ready
to rock steadier
Tue May 7 12:52:55 2019
it's more than just salt
there's a shred of sanity
dissolved in each tear
Wed May 8 12:49:35 2019
all night, all morning
now I'm fresh out of burning
and back to crashing
Thu May 9 15:24:16 2019
you fail to grasp Cloud
approach me that you might see
(cue boot to the head)
Sat May 11 11:32:17 2019
he'll be in Cognac
celebrating three decades
of Maison Ferrand

if anything breaks
ask "what would junyer do" and
do the opposite

or do what he would
I'm a haiku, not a cop
just don't hurt yourself
Thu May 16 04:02:06 2019
the chevalier
bringing the artillery
now that's ironic
Thu May 16 04:15:46 2019
love is like a rose
the thorns remain long after
the flower is dead
Thu May 16 04:20:55 2019
whereas death is like
the big black dog behind you
it's getting closer
Mon May 27 14:47:42 2019
welcome home, they said
help yourself to some lurgy
they said (probably)
Tue May 28 16:10:24 2019
lurgy retreating
sleeping for most of today
might have helped with that
Wed May 29 15:27:45 2019
feeling better, but
not enough to wake up and
leave the house today
Thu May 30 15:47:40 2019
sleep has been helping
the surprise insomnia
hasn't been helping
Fri May 31 15:18:18 2019
nearly well again
and just in time too because
oncall all weekend
Tue Jun 4 15:57:19 2019
it was bound to rain
monsooner or later and
I'll show myself out
Tue Jun 4 16:00:38 2019
can you imagine
if it were raining dumplings
like a din typhoon
Thu Jun 6 15:56:19 2019
reach for the random
and the deterministic
be wilder with both
Tue Jun 11 16:21:16 2019
bright sparks telling them
to be cumulonimble
when they're snowed under
Thu Jun 13 15:22:38 2019
more corny flakes than
ten cereal factories
staffed by gummy sharks
Tue Jun 18 16:00:08 2019
robot uprising
not a prerequisite for
human downfalling
Thu Jun 20 14:48:13 2019
Circular Google
must mean something more than just
devouring ourselves
Tue Jun 25 15:38:01 2019
looking under rocks
because they remind me of
the ones in my head
Thu Jun 27 15:50:59 2019
I can't remember
whether they were on the rocks
or just in my face
Tue Jul 2 16:13:05 2019
too many paige faults
aubort, retry, ignore, fail?
star dot star chamber
Thu Jul 4 15:42:53 2019
people have noticed
that we have a high rate of
excremental change
Fri Jul 5 15:13:05 2019
you sometimes see me
is it you I'm looking for
cute tripwires, bro
Mon Jul 8 15:34:14 2019
woke up very late
discovered that I'm oncall
how's your day going
Tue Jul 9 16:15:08 2019
this is brought to you
by the letters S, N, A
F, F, U, U, U
Thu Jul 11 15:17:13 2019
we all agree that
hope is not a strategy
but what about nope
Thu Jul 11 15:25:51 2019
> we all agree that
> nope is now a strategy
> but what about perf

we all agree that
perf is now a strategy
but what about hope
Tue Jul 16 16:12:36 2019
request for tender
for one god's pedestal in
narrow and tall style
Thu Jul 18 16:07:19 2019
the kind of angry
that makes you go for a walk
and write a letter
Sun Jul 21 23:07:22 2019
running some errands
although I must admit that
they all involve booze
Tue Jul 23 13:57:01 2019
outages are bad
but their causes.. their causes
are deeply rooted
Tue Jul 23 14:28:01 2019
> Haikus cannot fit
> the Reliability
> Reset on one line

treynor curve schmeynor curve
pendulum swinging now
back to stability

when things are once again
back to velocity
Tue Jul 23 14:32:05 2019
> multi-region push
> or unsupervised changes
> sloe blossoms falling

Headless Chromium
is the other project run
by the Queen of Hearts
Wed Jul 24 13:18:49 2019
my current nietzsche
gazing into abysses
you don't know you have
Thu Jul 25 12:56:23 2019
winter is coming
freeze a jolly good service
blue pill all of us
Thu Jul 25 13:07:47 2019
don't push me 'cause I'm
a configuration file
in global Chubby
Mon Jul 29 16:08:37 2019
online ordering
another hard problem in
computer science
Tue Jul 30 15:54:38 2019
right said [REDACTED]
he's too meanie for his pants
so meanie it hurts
Thu Aug 1 17:07:53 2019
pleasant afternoon
of Borg configuration
what have I become
Tue Aug 6 15:41:54 2019
hang on, are we sure
it's the hogs that are feral
rather than their warts
Wed Aug 7 12:50:52 2019
don't check your inbox
as an aid to waking up
you will be nerd-sniped

which is just to say
I have made a huge mistake
forgive me (or don't)

my blood is angry
probably delicious, but
neither sweet nor cold
Thu Aug 8 15:10:32 2019
Python and Go are
not ergonomic to code
in a document

and now I know how
interview candidates feel
(yes, whiteboards are worse)
Thu Aug 8 22:49:47 2019
> make software better
> so google can sell more ads
> found meaning of life

less like forty-two
more like forty-six and two
(just ahead of me)
Mon Aug 12 15:50:14 2019
fake quote of the day:
"I got ninety-five theses"
— Shawn Corey Luther
Tue Aug 13 15:34:55 2019
less like a startup
and more like a shutdown or
should I say "sunset"
Thu Aug 15 14:32:08 2019
we're about ready
to fall asleep while waiting
to rock steadier
Mon Aug 19 14:48:24 2019
things I hate today:
me, Visual Studio
Bazel, Kokoro

for turning last night
into round after round of
fuckin' whack-a-mole
Tue Aug 20 15:08:01 2019
unfreeze my release
say you'll deploy me again
undo this limbo
Thu Aug 22 15:10:14 2019
technically speaking
the iLove lamprey is just
a coprocessor
Mon Aug 26 14:25:20 2019
when I'm burdened with
technical debt and sleep debt
nothing seems worthwhile
Tue Aug 27 15:32:09 2019
commissioning a
"bring out your dead" parody
for Google products
Thu Aug 29 15:04:55 2019
the tempo at which
Drummond debased the title
of chief lawyercat
Thu Aug 29 16:06:32 2019
> isn't it that
> lawyercats
> are always about debasing?

chief pizzicato
is about plucking around
sorry, what G string
Tue Sep 3 16:05:54 2019
I think I might have
lost something in the taxi
(probably my brain)
Tue Sep 3 16:24:22 2019
within junyer's skull
empty space full of echoes
where thoughts once bubbled
Thu Sep 5 15:35:18 2019
to sleep, perchance to
be kindly delivered from
the last days of earth
Fri Sep 6 17:09:31 2019
distracted all day
by an insidious bug
in Python itself
Mon Sep 9 14:18:35 2019
prepping for my talk
on random yaks of kindness
tomorrow morning
Mon Sep 9 19:24:10 2019
you might know me as
a man of very few words
welp, you just heard 'em
Tue Sep 10 16:09:07 2019
so I could explain
but then you know what they say
about being vague
Wed Sep 11 19:18:55 2019
the oil is flowing
I need to watch things fry from
a food-safe distance

I grill while the whole world fries
it all tastes the same
Thu Sep 12 14:21:22 2019
it's that time of year
when Rob Pike gets a lot of
"you okay?" questions
Sat Sep 14 22:34:07 2019
multiple events
at Sydney Bar Week this year
I know, I'm scared too
Wed Sep 18 16:00:25 2019
blurred memories of
what even is computers
it's a long way up
Thu Sep 19 14:27:10 2019
is it really sleep
when you dream about fixing
people's shitty code
Thu Sep 19 19:28:23 2019
> TODOs with my name;
> But I have no memory
> of this TBR

our PABX
seems to have been unplugged and
wrapped in blue ribbon
Fri Sep 20 00:31:46 2019
si vous connaissez
la couleur de ma douleur
chantez avec moi
Fri Sep 20 02:02:02 2019
> Maybe is somebody's dream
> That you'll come
> And fix their code
> So I ain't shitty no more..

I cannot save you
I can't even save myself
so just save yourself
Tue Sep 24 13:24:44 2019
sign of addiction
to circuit simulation
your eyes go ibad
Thu Sep 26 14:46:15 2019
dazed and confused by
unsafe tabs in safe spaces
and Spanner safe times
Mon Sep 30 13:24:26 2019
honkity bonkity
anser domesticus
star of an untitled
stealth puzzle game

partial reprieve from this
annus horribilis
still not as good as a
bright cleansing flame
Mon Sep 30 17:14:00 2019
I was thinking more
that it gets a flamethrower
sometime in April
Mon Sep 30 22:27:59 2019
> sure it could get one
> but flamethrower in the lake
> doesn't even rhyme

okay, what about
gavage in the garage, then
foie gras in the car
Tue Oct 1 01:41:53 2019
> garrote by carrot,
> or to die with a bow tie:
> cluedo crossover?

removing livers
sounds like Operation, but
much more delicious
Tue Oct 1 15:43:35 2019
this buttery knife
was jammed between a rock and
a steadier place
Thu Oct 3 14:58:06 2019
Beelzebub has
many devils put aside
for PCRE
Thu Oct 3 17:48:34 2019
>> For questions about prod
>> Visit our Chrome Office Hours
>> And be enlightened

as Megatron says
Decepticons, transform and
wait for Annealing

> The Haiku I sent
> Was an impostor Haiku
> Spot the small error

die a thing namer
or live long enough to see
yourself be off by
Tue Oct 8 14:07:28 2019
my Tinder profile
is also great and unmatched
(well, if I had one...)
Thu Oct 10 15:33:09 2019
this wanting to be
it's all in your mind, they say
but I'm out of it
Thu Oct 10 18:14:00 2019
>> I am sending this
>> Reminder late once again
>> Visit us today

I see your attempt
to implement load shedding
and I applaud it

> My Haiku is poor
> And also not inspired
> I am engineer

effort is what counts
this ain't a competition
(except when it is)
Thu Oct 10 18:29:51 2019
> What damn fool named them
> "Chrome SRE", instead of
> "The Propellantheads"

we have never prayed
to Chrome before because we
have no nose for it
Thu Oct 10 19:01:27 2019
> Chrome's message service:
> Who called it "Tango" and not
> "The Huffing-town Post"

our insufflation
has not been insufficient
our resources have
Fri Oct 11 14:22:55 2019
fever is like work
inability to sleep
and mild psychosis
Mon Oct 21 17:11:37 2019
listen, mate, we aren't
the opposite of Agile
just slow to React
Tue Oct 22 16:40:10 2019
I could do without
feeling like I must either
record everything

or configure things
like Megastore 2.1
and have a witness
Wed Oct 23 13:04:51 2019
defended the team
from someone whose job it is
to defend the team
Thu Oct 24 14:30:10 2019
thwarty by nature
you down with "OMDB"
yeah, you know critique
Fri Oct 25 08:53:44 2019
I forgot to sleep
until now and at this point
I'm too afraid to
Mon Oct 28 14:26:28 2019
as the proverb goes
when the flowblok is away
the junyer will cray
Tue Oct 29 15:34:32 2019
sorry, psycho boy
I was never beautiful
destroy something else
Thu Oct 31 16:17:13 2019
still thinking about
the word I coined yesterday
Fri Nov 1 14:43:10 2019
started reading mail
instead of getting ready
this has not worked out
Tue Nov 5 10:21:06 2019
> we all r=
> (but some animals r more
> = than others)

it's called crossing the
Rubicon Goldberg Machine
(now powered by gas)
Tue Nov 5 11:23:11 2019
> a corny line, but:
> if you feel you can't say no
> just say +cc

an amaizing and
cereal exercise in
fine-grained code review
Tue Nov 5 14:46:10 2019
we will shortly be
crossing live to RubyConf
for Caesar's keynote
Thu Nov 7 16:20:13 2019
after Annealing
chop wood and carry petrol
and a spare Zippo
Tue Nov 12 16:35:51 2019
oh, that's what went wrong
I asked Santa for fine drams
but I typed "drama"
Thu Nov 14 15:40:59 2019
would it make me cool
if I were to blow things up
and then walk away

who's got time to watch
there are databases that
I have to walk to
Tue Nov 19 15:24:26 2019
lurgy ramping up
I need it to be gone by
Friday afternoon
Wed Nov 20 15:43:59 2019
sleeping is helping
breathing almost normally
coughing somewhat less
Thu Nov 21 12:28:09 2019
lurgy retreating
but it's a pity that now
I'm struggling to walk
Fri Nov 22 16:08:33 2019
I've been not so much
randomly unconscious as
randomly conscious
Tue Nov 26 15:57:03 2019
this might fall into
the class of problems known as
Thu Nov 28 15:50:20 2019
my inbox today
RE2, Rocksteadier
Python code reviews

so maybe next year
will be the year that I find
some better niches
Fri Nov 29 00:35:25 2019
we have procured a
Trinidad rum trinity
to taste and savour

my two single casks
plus Chau obtained a sample
of the '89
Mon Dec 2 14:01:22 2019
an apple a day
costs more than avocado
when it's an Apple

joy is oft fleeting
with devices soon meeting
their deaths by yeeting
Tue Dec 3 15:44:10 2019
I'm not distracted
can we agree to say that
I'm ruminating
Thu Dec 5 15:39:15 2019
the tunnel collapsed
light or no light, we will die
like democracy
Fri Dec 6 15:09:03 2019
think of it less like
unplanned downtime and more like
surprise siesta
Mon Dec 9 16:53:24 2019
it's better to nap
like a sleepy cat than to
write software like one
Tue Dec 10 15:45:40 2019
what's it like to walk
without thinking about it
I have forgotten
Wed Dec 11 15:53:47 2019
who's injecting faults
into the fault injector
what fresh hell is this
Thu Dec 12 16:29:46 2019
have you considered
taking a sad service and
making it better
Mon Dec 16 13:09:27 2019
I wandered in here
entirely by accident
and heard the crowd go

okay, [REDACTED]
just shake shake shake the rumour
like a daiquiri
Thu Dec 19 16:15:28 2019
they wanted to push
for the first time since July
during our prod freeze

had they been drinking
ethylene alcohol *and*
ethyl alcohol
Tue Dec 24 14:40:23 2019
Christmas icebreaker
is Go the best language or
a bestial language
Thu Jan 2 15:41:11 2020
starting the new year
by going back to basics
like what year is it

days, months, computers
faint and foreign fangles from
forever ago

regular what what
the hellmouth yawns lazily
warm and familiar

sorries as mumbled
as dimensions were jumbled
I tripped and I fell
Tue Jan 7 15:21:29 2020
our mission is to
boldly grow hair where no yak
has grown hair before
Thu Jan 9 14:50:31 2020
technical writing
is much harder than coding
(and writing haiku)

and that explains why
I almost never do it
even when I should
Thu Jan 9 15:49:09 2020
> Albatross balbatross
> typing a document
> merely to educate
> users and peers
> add it post launch to the
> arrears-compenedium
> consigned to oblivion
> (at most in 10 years)

meanie pants meanie bants
regular expertise
surgery on hell's heart
that stabs at me

hardly a day without
errors and terrors I
cannot unsee
Fri Jan 10 16:47:16 2020
this experience
leaves me disinclined to write
another bikeshed
Tue Jan 14 04:46:01 2020
a friend is in town
although my heart is happy
my liver trembles
Wed Jan 15 16:13:06 2020
writing documents
like drunkards meandering
through darkened houses
Thu Jan 16 15:50:04 2020
one article done
I promised folks another
but that one can wait
Thu Jan 16 21:51:24 2020
> Bigcluster Gateway: A Haiku
> These special snowflakes
> Deprecated all these years
> We will not miss you

named the replacement
after a popular and
auspicious device
Fri Jan 17 15:49:36 2020
weaving silently
through the inky blackness or
weeping silently
Sat Jan 18 18:24:40 2020
less going gently
more dashing desperately
into that good night
Sun Jan 19 17:06:20 2020
> When I am an old engineer I shall code purple
> With a RedHat that doesn't go, and doesn't suit me,
> And I shall spend my fun budget
> on brandy and summer gloves

Pardon my French, but...

il y avait un vieil ingénieur
qui était l'un des meilleurs
il détestait le nuage
(il préférait la plage)
parce qu'il n'était pas un branleur
Tue Jan 21 15:35:22 2020
what Python needs is
fewer language features and
more sixteen-ton weights
Fri Jan 24 15:37:38 2020
I can't explain why
but "in fino sherritas"
is stuck in my head
Tue Jan 28 14:19:16 2020
abstraction is hard
it's almost always either
trop ou pas assez
Thu Jan 30 13:17:29 2020
there might be a light
at the end of the tunnel
but it's a training
Tue Feb 4 15:30:01 2020
the weather today
much like my mood every day
should be more gloomy
Wed Feb 5 12:22:14 2020
my whole day is rooned
if a meeting is benooned
(it's like waking up)
Thu Feb 6 15:36:43 2020
it's Thursday, Thursday
never get down on Thursday
just keep it Loki
Mon Feb 17 12:22:49 2020
just managed to book
a medical appointment
for late afternoon
Thu Feb 20 14:49:44 2020
my heart is heavy
my liver is heavier
now to begin Perf
Thu Feb 20 16:16:01 2020
Willy Shakes, poet
willi d, apologist
Wile E. Coyote
Thu Feb 20 17:05:18 2020
I don't recommend
clicking the following link
if you stan Churchill
Mon Feb 24 19:30:34 2020
rum masterclass with
Alexandre Gabriel
of Maison Ferrand

and then daiquiris
with a possible chance of
flaming pineapples
Wed Feb 26 15:45:05 2020
global surveillance
finding who's naughty and nice
Santa is HR
Wed Feb 26 21:30:42 2020
> a stone gathers moss
> as I search: high, low, across,
> perf-ect albatross

they see me rolling
they hating and trying to
ask for full feedback
Mon Mar 2 12:17:56 2020
booked myself in for
a followup appointment
from the other week

Sponsored Haiku

too many hyphens
please to eliminate two
I'm not a crackpot
Wed Mar 4 15:09:12 2020
> perf, oncall, and rain
> my strategy today is plain:
> complain, drain, abstain

the rain in Sydney
stays mainly in the gutter
like our politics
Wed Mar 4 15:09:24 2020
can you count to five
then seven, then five again
see, I knew you could
Wed Mar 4 15:09:37 2020
> 18 crows stay dry
> huddled from the Sydney rain;
> corvid 19 soars.

monarchs loot birdhouse
queen gets away with murder
king, outdone, takes rook
Thu Mar 5 15:03:21 2020
off to panic-buy
toilet paper, but not soap
that's how hygiene works
Mon Mar 9 13:13:48 2020
waiting patiently
for a Coles delivery
and a game engine
Mon Mar 9 13:56:53 2020
> for perfing on time
> human can have little a
> illness, as a treat

the quintessence of
"no good deed goes unpunished"
would have to be Perf
Mon Mar 9 14:45:32 2020
> [instrumental, 16 bars]
> poor old jamie hey
> sounded sad because he can't haiku
> but he moved some boq to autocap

mon joli virus
quand allez-vous me donner
quelques citrons verts
Thu Mar 12 17:35:22 2020
chirping cricket card
except taught to cough loudly
(with machine learning)
Fri Mar 13 13:32:16 2020
why does it feel like
smoke detector inspection
is racketeering
Mon Mar 16 15:10:58 2020
day one: it begins
fortunately, the abyss
is working from home

and waiting for me
on our permanent Hangout
from five years ago
Tue Mar 17 15:53:09 2020
day two: sleep deprived
what a good way to begin
the end of the world
Wed Mar 18 15:20:09 2020
day three: nice weather
quite appropriate to have
the Fall in autumn
Thu Mar 19 15:02:42 2020
day four: hey, sunlight
so much for being the best
of disinfectants
Fri Mar 20 16:27:09 2020
day five: knock-knock jokes
where you can't see the eyes of
the technical debt
Mon Mar 23 15:16:04 2020
thanks to the weekend
I don't know whether this is
day six or day eight
Tue Mar 24 14:27:35 2020
but what if we had
less of a tech island and
more of a tech moat
Wed Mar 25 15:44:07 2020
I need to expense
an angry dome for my home
so I can write Go
Thu Mar 26 15:41:48 2020
novelties sold here
need a crown or a virus?
we've got you covered
Fri Mar 27 16:08:04 2020
imagine having
nineteen corvine problems and
pruritus as well
Mon Mar 30 15:12:31 2020
the only book that
Donald Trump has ever read
would appear to be

the DIY book
by the Four Horsemen titled
Apocalypse How
Tue Mar 31 16:26:47 2020
apartment living
entails less farming of fucks
and more foraging
Wed Apr 1 15:37:19 2020
flattening the curve
is flattening my affect
my feelings are plane
Wed Apr 1 18:00:57 2020
mentally wounded
I'm going off the chemtrails
on a crazy plane
Thu Apr 2 16:17:41 2020
catching up on sleep
having lost a lot of it
due to using Go
Fri Apr 3 17:37:23 2020
"is this all you do?"
sniffed the aliens rudely
the virus took them
Mon Apr 6 18:22:21 2020
"life finds a way and
hopefully not a fun way"
— Karen (probably)
Tue Apr 7 17:03:28 2020
why not just use long
we are here for a good time
not a long long time
Wed Apr 8 16:21:27 2020
very smart of me
to take up narcolepsy
during a crisis
Wed Apr 8 18:06:45 2020
> prince charming maintains
> social distancing now
> sleeping beauty sleeps

in Bizarro World
us get to schlep around less
and sleep around more
Thu Apr 9 16:40:56 2020
time has no meaning
less than none, arguably
even less than pants
Tue Apr 14 14:26:19 2020
"live, laugh, love" sounds nice
but clashes with "hate, cry, die"
in my calendar
Wed Apr 15 17:39:30 2020
still playing brandy
among the vines uhh tiktoks
with a Tasman yak
Thu Apr 16 10:54:33 2020
today's team slogans
make junyer gruntled again
no haunted graveyards
Fri Apr 17 16:50:51 2020
from tickets you came
to tickets you shall return
memento boring
Mon Apr 20 13:14:25 2020
the bad news is that
those makefiles won't fix themselves
also, the good news
Tue Apr 21 20:22:09 2020
in all the chaos
this most important thing was
sadly overlooked
Wed Apr 22 17:10:19 2020
having NaN tickets
sounds rather like the topic
of a limerick
Thu Apr 23 17:36:10 2020
damn your mondegreen
obviously, the Dutchman
must have a capstan
Fri Apr 24 15:20:05 2020
it's one part whale song
one part horrible goose song
and one part swan song
Fri Apr 24 17:00:28 2020
YouTube suggested
"wanna buy an eight, Ernie?"
(the "ball" is silent)
Mon Apr 27 13:49:11 2020
I've etched with an edge
but never sketched with a skedge
or kvetched with a kvedge
Mon Apr 27 18:25:22 2020
these afternoon naps
tend to be a lot better
when not impromptu
Tue Apr 28 18:49:44 2020
I think one problem
is that I keep posting these
right after breakfast
Wed Apr 29 18:46:51 2020
someone suggested
that I transfer over to
Napper SRE
Thu Apr 30 18:35:42 2020
hit with the wom bat
engaged users in combat
and now to nom bat
Thu Apr 30 19:12:59 2020
> If Oz has "Wom-bats",
> where are the matching "wom-balls"?
> In Bulgaria?

Toyota gave me
the option of alloy wheels
on this Fortuner
Fri May 1 19:10:25 2020
there are reasons why
I ended up posting this
right before lunner
Mon May 4 17:13:18 2020
light slowly fading
and giving way to darkness
also, it's sunset
Tue May 5 15:56:33 2020
competing standards
except that all fifteen are
types of USB
Wed May 6 16:16:51 2020
note that for Python
the smoke signals are coming
from inside the house
Thu May 7 17:42:50 2020
PewDiePie signed with YouTube
for twenty-four months
Thu May 7 18:16:58 2020
instead of eating
I read mail and now I have
two empty feelings
Fri May 8 12:19:43 2020
things will work smoothly
once the robots have been fed
enough human souls
Mon May 11 17:47:28 2020
I won't describe this
oncall situation as
"normal: all F1"
Tue May 12 17:52:58 2020
this has been wrong by
three orders of magnitude
for the past three years
Wed May 13 17:10:42 2020
one page at a time
providing reason to rhyme
that's a more (or less)
Thu May 14 21:48:29 2020
fell down a chasm
currently in combat with
a SIMD balrog
Fri May 15 20:00:16 2020
thanks, Android, for your
lack of input gain control
so much for that plan
Mon May 18 14:30:04 2020
not meeting the bar
for the wagging school exams
that's a tail of fail
Tue May 19 19:23:00 2020
when thoughts crystallise
does that mean that they become
useless for healing
Wed May 20 18:11:38 2020
feeling exhausted
before my "real" working day
has even started
Thu May 21 17:33:14 2020
it's called "bare metal"
since it's mostly made out of
razor blades and hate
Fri May 22 05:09:17 2020
> Wow that's an oldie
> Now I wonder how many
> Current HWops Bled

Voltage HwOps and
Resistance HwOps sound like
a power struggle
Mon May 25 15:24:32 2020
as some heard today
I'm partly cowed, mostly hoarse
from Saturday night
Tue May 26 16:56:24 2020
today's objective
due to a game of Drawstrings
be more squirrelly
Wed May 27 17:35:18 2020
folks still forget that
even at the speed of light
Sydney is distant
Thu May 28 16:20:07 2020
you don't want to know
how German sausage gets made
because it's the wurst
Fri May 29 19:22:33 2020
busy oncall shift
despite the lack of pages
now my day begins
Mon Jun 1 16:26:39 2020
it really seems like
the police delenda est
is the right answer
Tue Jun 2 21:26:46 2020
posted this during
my suburb's power outage
on Blackout Tuesday
Wed Jun 3 16:38:02 2020
the dinner and show
at T.G.I. Fascism
is bread and circus
Wed Jun 3 17:09:25 2020
> thirteen clowns all dressed
> in riot gear tumble from
> a tiny humvee

watch the ringmaster
pull the circus ring open
with his tiny hands
Thu Jun 4 16:49:30 2020
and so once again
trade fiddle for feeding tube
karma om nom nom
Fri Jun 5 19:51:36 2020
that "designing a process"
means making shit up
Tue Jun 9 17:01:37 2020
probably on some
"funding antifa" watchlist
which is fine with me
Wed Jun 10 22:46:01 2020
this oncall shift was
brought to you by LOG(FATAL)
a savage own goal
Fri Jun 12 20:02:43 2020
all around the world
statues cry that they've fallen
and they can't get up
Mon Jun 15 21:06:13 2020
Gell-Mann amnesia
applies to tech mailing lists
not just newspapers
Tue Jun 16 19:18:51 2020
wheels of misfortune
hosted by Saṃ and Sāra
leave you wandering
Wed Jun 17 19:26:58 2020
we now distinguish
between missing and Spanish
right parentheses
Thu Jun 18 20:11:38 2020
watching old reruns
of Nobody Loves Raymond
comma Eric S.
Fri Jun 19 02:39:30 2020
wanted a day off
before Saturday oncall
I guess it's this one
Mon Jun 22 16:33:44 2020
committing red rum
would end up with too much red
and too little rum
Tue Jun 23 20:59:36 2020
when all you have is
lightning talks, nothing looks like
cross-team synergies
Wed Jun 24 19:03:48 2020
it's mostly my fault
that today's earworm has been
"kumbaya, nadav"
Thu Jun 25 21:25:06 2020
just gotten around
to the important things like
eating and haiku
Fri Jun 26 15:53:10 2020
closure is a change
made unilaterally
using Sensenmann
Mon Jun 29 18:58:56 2020
I misunderstood
and in my drunken stupor
wrote a postmodern
Tue Jun 30 19:57:34 2020
enough time has passed
that I have come to regret
my last Chrome project
Wed Jul 1 00:28:26 2020
borgcfg reload
what could possibly go right
(then add Annealing!)
Wed Jul 1 21:28:45 2020
it's large and complex
so we can't validate it
it would take too long
Thu Jul 2 22:05:35 2020
I'm not too upset
it was inevitable
(in this universe)
Fri Jul 3 14:15:27 2020
> i don't always test
> seven syllables removed
> it's in production

hey, I'm just thankful
that no one thought to suggest
using a regexp
Fri Jul 3 15:22:53 2020
stamping changelists for
more senior engineers is
what junyers do best
Mon Jul 6 15:15:27 2020
if you're gonna swing
do it from the chandelier
not the chevalier
Tue Jul 7 21:09:09 2020
every human bean
has to have good lentil health
to find inner peas
Wed Jul 8 17:08:31 2020
interview questions
how is automation formed
how code get written
Thu Jul 9 17:51:58 2020
our config model
is such that "database" is
an unclear concept
Fri Jul 10 15:10:23 2020
the weasel told me
that the jet engine has claimed
another eagle
Mon Jul 13 17:42:17 2020
can a whole team win
a citizenship award
just for shitposting
Wed Jul 15 00:15:44 2020
a great day for art
not a great day for haiku
or telephone calls
Wed Jul 15 22:09:42 2020
starting to think that
going to bed earlier
might be for the best
Thu Jul 16 21:26:46 2020
I can't believe that
"postmortem champions" is
the title they want
Fri Jul 17 02:51:18 2020
> Zombie Achilles
> Repeatedly cries out "Help!"
> F1 could answer

when pressing F1
ensure that you aren't also
depressing F1
Fri Jul 17 11:39:43 2020
ping me if need be
but I want to take a nap
and run some errands
Mon Jul 20 20:56:25 2020
the queries of death
appear to be coming from
inside the service
Tue Jul 21 10:59:27 2020
the sun seems to be
in the wrong part of the sky
why did I do this
Wed Jul 22 19:37:23 2020
too many spikes on
my "naps per hour" graph today
should I page someone
Wed Jul 22 20:05:08 2020
> further enhance your calm
> avoid the pages with
> silence manager

"silence, manager"
seems like a great thing to say
one month before Perf
Thu Jul 23 15:14:08 2020
save rando Flume jobs
batch compute capacity
with this one weird trick
Fri Jul 24 16:05:27 2020
an infinite scream
can upset Chrome during your
loss of consciousness
Mon Jul 27 13:17:19 2020
the tour of doody
death by a thousand tickets
dookie is duḥkha
Tue Jul 28 22:58:27 2020
I might yet regret
attempting to optimise
for ticket throughput
Wed Jul 29 23:00:46 2020
just two tickets left
berserker or berserkest
pass the black henbane
Fri Jul 31 00:27:01 2020
I was too busy
curb-stomping the ticket queue
to write a haiku
Fri Jul 31 17:42:57 2020
it's Friday, Friday
gotta roll back on Friday
how good is Spanner
Sat Aug 1 12:03:00 2020
> And that is the one
> we're not even gonna try
> only Qubos lost

to know your spanner
you must become your spanner
(trenchcoat included)
Mon Aug 3 20:50:37 2020
not quite decompressed
after what happened last week
(and still need more sleep)
Tue Aug 4 21:36:50 2020
you don't need to have
one more weekly meeting when
you can have two more
Wed Aug 5 16:46:21 2020
macOS upgrade
downloading 8 GB
tethering for speed
Thu Aug 6 21:18:55 2020
greased lightning is like
red bulls driving racing cars
in a china shop
Fri Aug 7 15:25:25 2020
the project was "done"
and is now "shovel-ready"
for a gravedigger
Mon Aug 10 18:51:52 2020
been a while since the
quarterly yearnings report
mentioned anyone
Tue Aug 11 10:28:32 2020
> Tickets laid to rest,
> problems fixed with trusty shears.
> Those poor, poor naked yaks.
> (I tried)

and I cried because
an otherwise good haiku
ended up off by
Tue Aug 11 22:53:09 2020
starting to learn to
move my hands off the keyboard
before passing out
Wed Aug 12 21:25:13 2020
for the nocturnal
is daydreaming just dreaming
or simply misnamed
Thu Aug 13 20:39:18 2020
snapping back into
only feeling emotions
that I handle well
Fri Aug 14 20:39:09 2020
do you want prions
eating Scottish burghers is
how you get prions
Mon Aug 17 23:34:45 2020
submerging in beige
is a lengthy prelude to
submerging in black
Tue Aug 18 16:38:14 2020
getting up early
means that now I'm already
tired and hungry
Wed Aug 19 16:00:04 2020
a problem shared is
a problem now depressing
more than one person
Wed Aug 19 17:13:33 2020
> assign all the bugs
> to the nearest spare TL
> net despair plummets

the chickens came home
many years ago to roost
and died in their sleep
Thu Aug 20 16:44:31 2020
everything was fine
until they launched a spanner
and then the blobs tore
Fri Aug 21 16:12:32 2020
I don't want to view
my performance even once
let alone again
Mon Aug 24 17:30:32 2020
depression sets in
before junyer can even
close the browser tab
Tue Aug 25 14:03:48 2020
the balance between
workahol and alcohol
has to be restored
Wed Aug 26 16:03:49 2020
Perf is better when
the feeling is mutual
(but it's depression)
Thu Aug 27 17:05:36 2020
why work when I can
wallow in anxiety
about tomorrow

training others? ☑️
I don't know the topic? ☑️
at 9am? ☑️

they finally found a way
to make Perf seem good
Fri Aug 28 14:16:32 2020
this morning's shopping errands
haven't done themselves

"I'll just read this mail"
is one of the great techniques
of self-deception
Mon Aug 31 20:29:28 2020
blissfully burning
a quarter of a million
units of compute

never noticing
or wondering why the job
is taking so long

with kabazaiku
I shall craft a clue-by-four
with which to beat you
Mon Sep 7 15:03:21 2020
surprising no one
I was too drunk to haiku
for most of last week
Tue Sep 8 22:34:25 2020
I have done some things
of which I'm not very proud
most of them this week
Wed Sep 9 22:26:52 2020
what's your most hated
configuration language
and why's it CMake
Thu Sep 10 23:08:24 2020
currently enraged
by language limitations
obstructing progress
Fri Sep 11 21:43:41 2020
that empty feeling
as another Friday night
is lost to oncall
Mon Sep 14 22:44:06 2020
preserving this bug
is just another drop in
the ocean of hacks
Tue Sep 15 20:10:13 2020
your whole self, they said
okay, but here's my numbness
so guess who called me
Wed Sep 16 20:30:54 2020
I consider this
less a hobby horse and more
a pastime pony
Thu Sep 17 20:17:15 2020
dev infra folks who
don't seem to know how to use
*checks notes* dev infra
Fri Sep 18 19:45:51 2020
I don't care about
promotions at 9am
and neither should you
Mon Sep 21 22:27:49 2020
in Google cuisine
the dish we call bog confit
is extremely cooked
Tue Sep 22 21:54:56 2020
when you need to sleep
but one truth keeps you awake
(shit won't post itself)
Wed Sep 23 20:55:55 2020
"I can see through time"
really means I can't focus
my eyes on the clock
Thu Sep 24 19:30:25 2020
some of us have been
burrito ambassadors
since 2013
Fri Sep 25 16:23:48 2020
will become inconsistent

proving that it is
the opposite of data
in this TED talk, I
Mon Sep 28 21:55:23 2020
'cause I knew you were
zombies when you shambled in
so shame on me now
Wed Sep 30 21:11:46 2020
"Dune" is the story
of a planet of people
pooping in their suits
Thu Oct 1 20:53:44 2020
I sit corrected
"Dune" is the story of Paul
he takes narcotics
Thu Oct 1 20:58:46 2020
decanting barrels
original, port, sherry
and the Paulmetto
Tue Oct 6 21:03:44 2020
perhaps the worst thing
about this lifestyle is the
accidental nap

don't misunderstand
it's great for lazy days off
but not while working
Wed Oct 7 21:33:21 2020
errors that were forced
by executive pressure
you love to see it
Thu Oct 8 15:03:00 2020
> As a casual
> bystander I applaud your
> defiant comments

no point just wishing
to hold them to account for
the damage they do
Thu Oct 8 21:52:58 2020
slightly worried that
I might have levelled up at
C++ templates
Fri Oct 9 20:37:02 2020
found myself thinking
"was I meant to be somewhere"
on a Friday night
Mon Oct 12 22:44:24 2020
resource management
designed for accountants by
other accountants
Tue Oct 13 11:51:55 2020
> you should have earmarked
> so your recursive sublease
> can still be unwound

when I'm finished here
there will be a lot of marks
on more than just ears
Tue Oct 13 16:53:08 2020
Annealing tickets
sometimes grow up to become
Monarch OMGs
Tue Oct 13 17:39:53 2020
> occasionally
> they turn to fun discussions
> with c-toolchain-team

the promised land of
milk and fascinating bugs
(but the milk is sour)
Wed Oct 14 20:25:07 2020
there but for the grace
of not being Spanner go
I and you and us
Thu Oct 15 20:58:39 2020
yeah, but it's always
wellactuallyness day
on the internet
Mon Oct 19 23:15:35 2020
make safe processes?
and sound resource predictions?
that sounds like hard work
Tue Oct 20 23:51:24 2020
in an insane world
a sane person must appear
but one never does
Wed Oct 21 21:57:04 2020
the only things more
ephemeral than good moods
are these MPMs
Thu Oct 22 22:46:55 2020
dear javascript bach
the clavier was well-tempered
but junyer was not
Fri Oct 23 00:01:12 2020
catching up on sleep
by taking the "wellness day"
that I missed last week
Mon Oct 26 22:39:16 2020
this is indeed a
glorious day for F1
and therefore the world
Tue Oct 27 20:40:40 2020
"build automation"
was a low priority
and not a blocker
Wed Oct 28 21:46:03 2020
"just headbutt people
until you get what you want"
who wrote this.. a cat?
Thu Oct 29 01:06:21 2020
thanks very much for
this well-timed introduction
my mood has improved
Thu Oct 29 01:12:25 2020
that reminded me
the "pink elephant" haiku
are five years old now
Thu Oct 29 22:54:29 2020
"velocity" means
waiting months for teams to use
your optimised code
Fri Oct 30 15:29:50 2020
feeling reluctant
to stop my binge working and
start my binge drinking
Mon Nov 2 22:53:08 2020
is the real zen of python
not 枯山水
Tue Nov 3 06:27:45 2020
> some dehydration
> makes distinction difficult
> better to Pickle

best to avoid CLIF
unless you really want to
get your corniche on
Tue Nov 3 22:22:32 2020
has it been four years
since we drank ourselves into
the darkest timeline
Wed Nov 4 21:42:43 2020
eh la madonna
election beset by dear
leader à l'orange

meanwhile, pirate bae
has shared the TCP tape
a torrent indeed
Thu Nov 5 22:17:50 2020
BorgBox, you the real
Minimum Viable Prod
ce n'est pas du rant
Fri Nov 6 17:13:36 2020
I forgot about
the external DNS
close, but no cigar
Mon Nov 9 23:55:23 2020
"what kind of lies do
you usually have here"
he asked the Googler

"oh, we got both kinds
we got monitoring *and*
Tue Nov 10 21:25:04 2020
that automation
needs fixing so I can use
this automation
Wed Nov 11 20:19:04 2020
they said skub couldn't
show us how or take us high
then the brawl started
Thu Nov 12 20:07:56 2020
install a package
that installs a symlink to
another symlink
Fri Nov 13 23:32:03 2020
non-obvious obstacles
till oblivion
Mon Nov 16 21:53:01 2020
Trump's Twitter account
in that place, there is weeping
and gnashing of tweets
Tue Nov 17 23:24:43 2020
sometimes, I feel like
crashing for 17 months
today, not so much
Wed Nov 18 21:42:34 2020
I fear that we are
setting ourselves up for a
titanic success
Thu Nov 19 22:52:06 2020
how nice of them to
wake up and smell the ozone
this ain't no teacup
Fri Nov 20 21:26:14 2020
another Friday
spent shepherding a release
that might get rolled back
Mon Nov 23 21:18:40 2020
nearly ten years since
"your toaster runs BSD?
my doorstop runs Chrome!"
Mon Nov 23 21:34:39 2020
> I think you will find
> it is not a door stop these days
> but a space capsule

like a space capsule
there's a high chance that it will
end up in the sea
Tue Nov 24 22:23:22 2020
this codebase feels like
the yaks are hiding inside
a creepy old house
Wed Nov 25 21:04:37 2020
mailing code reviews
to Americans to help
clog their inboxes
Thu Nov 26 16:52:27 2020
such peace and quiet
but some Americans are
my code reviewers
Fri Nov 27 14:52:44 2020
conway's game of death
but that is not dead which can
eternal recurse
Mon Nov 30 23:12:17 2020
after the prod freeze
comes the prod thaw: Ragnarök
we will need to drain
Tue Dec 1 22:37:13 2020
the German word for
being the first to notice
thousands of crashes
Wed Dec 2 22:35:22 2020
"Christmas is writing
all the code you can write while
the writing is good"

"the only real joy
for a Google engineer
is g4 rm"
Thu Dec 3 22:09:47 2020
angels we have heard
not sure what they were high on
must have been dank though
Fri Dec 4 20:11:09 2020
not really convinced
that we still deserve to win
if he's Darth Jeff now
Mon Dec 7 23:27:20 2020
Dante kept secret
that the tenth circle of hell
is their ticket queue
Mon Dec 14 23:42:13 2020
no heroes, they said
so I'm fine till they come for
the antiheroes

endlessly sifting
bits to feed an addiction
endlessly shifting

hamster on a wheel
for eternity because
I know nothing else
Tue Dec 15 20:55:02 2020
HR survey asked
what led me to distrust them
let me count the ways
Wed Dec 16 23:04:44 2020
light the wat signal
btreynor is cosplaying
doctor victor fries
Thu Dec 17 22:11:01 2020
as if countries like
America and England
weren't broken enough

it turns out that they
restrict alcohol imports
now what do I do
Mon Dec 21 15:52:43 2020
doing nothing but
readability reviews
in late December
Tue Dec 22 15:28:27 2020
'tis the season for
air-conditioned hermitude
and narcolepsy
Tue Dec 22 15:38:10 2020
even hermitude
isn't as important as
booze delivery
Tue Dec 29 15:23:06 2020
it took just one week
for my brain to revert to
asking questions like

what is computer
and then having answered that
why is computer
Wed Dec 30 16:47:48 2020
why wasn't one week
enough for me to repay
one year of sleep debt
Wed Dec 30 16:56:17 2020
heading out to make
one more booze delivery
in the afternoon

but not staying out
because I'm conserving spoons
for the day after
Tue Jan 5 21:17:04 2021
still getting used to
the couch being for working
rather than dozing
Wed Jan 6 22:08:38 2021
daymares in which I'm
seeing how what could have been
could never have been
Thu Jan 7 21:36:41 2021
today, I have been
incredibly distracted
to put it mildly
Fri Jan 8 16:24:12 2021
technically speaking
it's still holidays until
shit breaks suddenly
Mon Jan 11 16:53:14 2021
a state transition
from going bananas to
growing bananas
Tue Jan 12 23:40:46 2021
we all remember
what they say about time flies
(they weren't here today)

but did you know that
space flies where you're having fun
(they weren't here either)
Wed Jan 13 18:58:47 2021
I think I will cause
non-optimised builds to have
problems on purpose
Wed Jan 13 19:09:47 2021
grocery shopping
and then booze delivery
when it pours, it rains
Fri Jan 15 21:17:18 2021
surprise naps are nice
but problematic in that
I'm trying to work
Mon Jan 18 23:04:14 2021
Monday nights are for
performing a cluster-scale
"The Front Fell Off" sketch
Tue Jan 19 17:20:17 2021
> Anonymous Wolf
> Panda, Bat, and Goose
> all saying the same
> It’s beyond high time
> we are rocking steady now
> in all GFEs

thanks for your patience
I need more venti lattes
before I see you
Tue Jan 19 19:34:14 2021
just like the movies
you're writing Sisyphus code
to know you're alive
Wed Jan 20 13:26:53 2021
> I don't want the world
> just a DC, yeah a place
> to invoke tools/span

when everything's maked
by my bro ken, you just want
to run who i am
Thu Jan 21 22:13:28 2021
help measure how much
SRE loves company
go take googlegeist
Sun Jan 24 21:21:31 2021
running out of ways
to say "booze delivery"
in cutesy haiku
Wed Jan 27 13:25:06 2021
found a new ringtone
but no one ever calls me
(except Doctor Phil)
Thu Jan 28 23:22:30 2021
maybe the real curse
was the automation we
wrote along the way
Sun Jan 31 22:02:24 2021
social appointments
(I do get around a lot
for an introvert)
Wed Feb 3 22:41:03 2021
the dusk of the reign
of the first Prod emperor
most likely the last

dots and dashes mapped
reduced to dust and ashes
is this how it ends
Thu Jun 10 14:20:59 2021
this trend of people
not coming back from remote
or from lengthy leave

not to mention those
who have left or are leaving
more disillusioned

I salute you all
for demonstrating a strength
that I don't possess
Fri Jun 25 18:22:12 2021
> T7 visions
> (cow definitely lacked eight)
> now, he's passed yer eyes

"OOO... for good"
and here I was thinking that
it was for evil?

well done on coaxing
a rare reply out of me
in this medium
Thu Jul 8 23:16:52 2021
worst haiku ever
none of that even made it
in the litter box